At the moment, ?Sexy? Dr. Conrad Murray is facing an uphill struggle in an American court as he and his team of lawyers attempt to prove he didn't give Michael Jackson enough painkillers to take down a herd of elephants.?The trial is barely getting started and we're beginning to tire of boring experts telling us whether it was possible for Jackson to top himself.
Until surprise witnesses like the Cadburys Caramel Bunny are brought in for a testimony, we're not really bothered about what's happening.
However, in non-Michael Jackson criminal news, a ghoulish evening related to the king of pop is happening soon. That's right, Hallowe’en is fast approaching. How about replicating Jackson?s famous ghostly pale appearance? Or going that extra mile and recreating his legendary wonky nose? You might think we're taking a cheap shot at the Thriller video; but we're not. He came up trumps according to search engine statistics.
People often accuse us of making childish jokes about Michael Jackson being an innocent paedophile, plying kids with wine and having a monkey as a pet but in reality, you people out there reading this are the ones that are sick in the head.
We know that the internet never lies.
Thanks to the world wide web, we've won the lottery more times than we can remember, had long lost Chinese ancestors inform us our next of kin wants to shower us with yen and best of all, we're always offered free technology for clicking on a website at the right time! So how do we know about Jackson then? Someone cleverer than us used some kind of fancy-dan internet technology-searchy-majigger to find out.
With the results below, here?s why they would put the fear of God into any children who went trick or treating round their houses. And if you want to achieve the look, just follow our handy style advice:
1) Michael Jackson (31%)
Get someone who's partially blind to butcher your hair, lightly smash your cheekbones with a claw hammer until that sunken in effect takes place and top off with a smearing of hooker lipstick. Or the innocent blood of children.
2) Katy Perry (25%)
Some people say women are fake creatures who hide behind layers of makeup, fake tan, hair extensions, enhanced boobs, botox and false nails. Katy Perry certainly proves how these tips and tricks can work wonders for you.
3) Charlie Sheen (14%)
Prepare for Halloween by spending the entire morning and afternoon snorting a bucket load of cocaine, #winning, drinking tiger blood and mincing around with porn stars, prostitutes and mistresses. It won't tire you out at all. While you’re at it, you might as well have some cocaine for dinner too.
4) Barack Obama (12%)
If you searched ?Barack Obama? + ?costume? then you're an idiot. Obama is the coolest bloke in the world; anyone attempting to cover themselves in shoe polish to vaguely look like him is an idiot.
5) Snooki (11%)
A picture says a thousand words.
6) Amy Winehouse (7%)
Looking zoned out on booze and drugs generally happens to people at the end of the night, so you may end up doing what Amy Winehouse did all of her career; beginning with promise and professionalism but ending as a tragic reminder of what social poisons do to you.
Just say no to the heroin, okay?
So there you have it, readers. Using our handy guide you too can look like your favourite celebrity nutjob this Hallowe’en.
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