Michael Jackson Amazingly Not Appearing At Jade Goody?s Funeral

Michael Jackson, Jade Goody, jade Goody FuneralWe all know Jade Goody has tragically passed away after losing a battle against cancer.

Everyone has different opinions on how she dealt with the impending days to her death. Whilst her children now have financial security, we can?t help thinking that using the image of her crying children was a bit wrong to flog magazines.

With all the media hype finally dying down, everyone would assume the Goody family would finally ask for some privacy. But that wouldn?t be the late Jade Goody way. Everything needs to be pushed to the next level. Having Michael Jackson supposedly making an appearance at the funeral would have done just that. But it?s all bollocks supposedly.

Now, we really have no idea why Michael Jackson would even contemplate making an appearance at Jade Goody?s funeral. Unless he likes a good wake with plenty of triangular cut sandwiches and glasses of sherry, he?s in the wrong place.

The only possible connection that Jade and Michael have is through Jermaine Jackson. In the 2007 version of Celebrity Big Brother, Jermaine appeared with Jade in the series where she made ignorant comments towards eventual winner Shilpa Shetty. With encouragement from newspapers, her comments were quickly snowballed and perceived as full on racial rants and her career was in tatters.

With a completely buggered-up career, we heard nothing major about Jade Goody until her diagnosis with cancer. Ironically, she was able to elevate herself back in to the media eye with an illness that once again put her under the public gaze.

PR guru and slight bell-end Max Clifford has oddly issued a statement saying that Michael Jackson won’t be attending her funeral. Amazingly, we didn?t expect the 50-year-old plastic skeleton of a man to be in attendance. He?ll either be checking our exotic animals for his upcoming tour, or spending thousands of pounds on pencils that are encrusted in pearls.

In a statement about the potentially bizarre guest appearance from America?s number one entertainer and monkey lover, Max Clifford said:

?Michael was never, ever coming; it was never on the agenda. He also feels the focus of the funeral should be about her and her family.?

Imagine if Jackson had flown in on a giant eagle and got his minions to prepare his grand entrance. He?d literally moonwalk down the church and take his seat whilst padding his face to ensure key parts like his nose hadn?t dropped off. But then again, if we wanted to see that happen, we?d have bought overpriced tickets to his London gigs that will only end in tears and missing body parts.

However, this could be one big con by Max Clifford and it may actually happen. Michael Jackson could demonstrate what an epic performer he really is by waltzing to the coffin, stepping inside and giving Jade Goody five extra minutes of life as she flops around to recreate the Thriller video.

Still, the spectacle that is Jade Goody will quite likely live on forever. More than likely, the funeral will be filmed and horribly released on DVD whilst idiotic fans will campaign for mother?s day to be changed to Jade Goody Memorial Day to commemorate the day she passed away.

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  1. JoeMomma says

    If he did show up at the cemetary people would have been in a panic as they would have thought he was a zombie and the undead hordes were rising and coming to eat the brains of everyone.

    Also writing run on sentences is fun I never realized that until now, I mean you can just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and people think you’re actually typing and doing real work but really you’re just providing written garbage for the world to read.

    At any rate I have a meeting to goto and I probably should get ready for it, I have my coffee it’s cold now but if I heat it in the microwave it will be gross and I’m not intersted in drinking gross coffee.

    But I digress. MJ is the undead.

  2. Ryan P says

    Ok. So, does no one remember when Michael called Jade Goody privately and promised to give her tickets to his concert this summer? Then Jade told the media about the phone call and told everyone how much he cared about her?

    Who knows if he’s appearing at the funeral or not… but there’s proof from Jade Goody herself that he genuinely cared about her and wished her the best. Why assume he would go for publicity?

    MJ has been known to visit hospitals of sick people, invite sick children and adults to his ranch, and worked tirelessly with the Make A Wish Foundation to make dreams come true for people.

    If he goes to the funeral… then assume that he wants to go because he cares.

    – Ryan

  3. condobabe says

    No! I do not wish to subscribe. MJ had no intention on attending the funeral. He called and told her she was in his prayers. What else you want? Slow news day I guess…

  4. JoeMomma says

    MJ would be the last person in the universe I’d like to see at a hospital. I don’t think he should be allowed as he kinda looks like the specter of death.

  5. KB says

    I agree the article is pretty stupid, and I was no Goody fan. I believe it was Shetty who tried to flush a chicken carcass down the loo? Stupid is a stupid does.