There’s nothing that randomly brings two totally opposite people together like a bit of Tolstoy.
You know, a friendly dialogue over the falsities of society entangled throughout Anna Karenina, a little chat over motifs of enigmatic love and philosophies of death in War and Peace – it happens every day. No, really. Just ask Mel Gibson and Britney Spears. These two were all chummy-like over dinner at a Russian restaurant over the weekend that has a unique selection of Russian books on the premises.
You see, Mel Gibson is trying to help Britney Spears, so of course they got together for an evening of laughs and Russian literature. And everyone knows that it takes one sometimes embarrassingly drunken nutter to save another sometimes embarrassingly drunken nutter.
We once had a bit of a crush on Mel Gibson during our formative years. There may have been a time when we carefully snipped his picture out of magazines and placed them on our bedroom wall in a decorative collage, but we’d never admit it. And to tell you the truth, we probably wouldn’t say no to those dreamy blue eyes today – drunken, racially-charged rants notwithstanding – if he wanted to save us from our own self-destructive behaviour and general state whacked-out insanity. So it’s no wonder Britney Spears has been spending time in the company of Mel Gibson, who reportedly wants to show support and guidance to Brit.
Of course, nothing romantic between Mel Gibson and Britney Spears is going on. The mere thought of such an idea causes our brain to thrash itself against our skull until it settles into a protective coma-like state. Although, if a romantic connection was happening, we wouldn’t have to find any other topics to write about for weeks. That’s some blogging gold, right there.
But alas, Britney Jean Spears and Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson, who used to be neighbours, dined with family and guests at the Studio City restaurant Romanov in a platonic (i.e. boring) manner, for two hours. A source/sell-out random person who sold a cheese pretzel to one of them had this to say about the meeting:
“Mel and his wife Robin clearly saw a woman in crisis and wanted to extend themselves in any way possible. There's just a handful of people in the world who understand the kind of intense attention that Britney goes through, and how to raise a family with some semblance of privacy and how to keep one's family intact and out of the limelight. There are no expectations, there is no agenda. It's simply an act of human kindness – one neighbor reaching out to the other."
That’s sweet of the Gibsons, but two whole hours with Britney Spears? What on earth could Mel Gibson and Britney Spears ever talk about for two hours? Perhaps these two were meeting because:
1) a Crossroads/Beyond Thunderdome project is in the works. Mel will step in as Tina Turner’s character while Britney takes on Master Blaster with whips made from locks of her shaven hair and her still intact womanly virtue.
2) they are gathering together for strength as the last two surviving people in Hollywood that haven’t converted to Scientology.
3) they’ve been possessed by aliens and are wearing Britney and Mel disguises and meet in secret to plot world domination. Or in other words, they’ve converted to Scientology.
We're torn between the possible reasons, so we'll just go back to not caring at all. It's what we do best.
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