Before anything remotely newsworthy is said we should note, with much admiration through our rose tinted specs, that the Spice Girls (CD/DVD/Book) were massive. And not just Emma Bunton (CD) either, Geri’s (CD) arse could’ve caused a solar eclipse if she took a nap at the wrong angle.
Chunky alligator wrestler Mel C (CD) was once in the Spice Girls, back when she had a career. For now it seems she’s been reduced to petty name-calling and dementia style trips down memory lane.
"It is frustrating at times when I see some acts that are top of the charts, but the fact is I was there for years with the girls and now it is their turn.” she told the Daily Mirror through gritted teeth.
The ‘their’ in question? Why it’s the currently in-vogue girlie group to wear fewer clothes than a Caribbean stripper, Girls Aloud (CD). They’ve had two albums now you know.
Like night follows day and tick follows tock, getting dropped from your record company, your imminent tour being ‘put on hold’ and everyone becoming sick of hearing “we’re just doing our own thing really” in every single interview, Melanie Chisholm has got out of her pram.
New upstarts are one thing, but Girls Aloud actually seem to have a couple of weeks left in them yet. Though not if old yellowbow gets her way.
"There’s no doubt Girls Aloud are absolute babes, but to be honest they always look miserable. I’m not sure they enjoy the work as much as we did. They’re good but they’ll never be the next Spice Girls."
Somebody’s not too chuffed about being local radio’s favourite. It’s one thing to have been the best, another to have been the most popular, and something else entirely to have been part of the most popular. You can only ride on the back of past successes for so long. Especially when your only contribution was singing all the high notes. And doing all the backflips.
The same revival scenario occurs in all celebrity industries. Arnie tried it for a few declining years, gave up and become a governor (or ‘The Governor’ as his kids probably call him right after seeing their clothes burned). Even Michael ‘doesn’t he drive a bus now?’ Barrymore had a go. And let’s not get started on Mark Owen. We’ll save him for another time.
Mel C’s little foot-stamp prompted a teasingly bitchy comeback remark from Girls Aloud HQ.
"When we were at primary school we were inspired by the Spice Girls.” chirped über mouth Cheryl Tweedy before shifting in to top gear. "It is sad she has had to bitch about us to get publicity for her solo records."
Bang! Another pop war has begun.
Forget Robbie and Liam, they’re only ever likely to shove each other back and forth with the customarily impotent “yeah, come on then”. But Mel C and Tweedy? That sounds like a bitch fight from the very bowels of music Hell.
Great. We’ll be there, front row centre.
[story by Chris Laverty]
B says
Girls Aloud are miles better than the Spice Girls ever were.
danielle says
ok yes girls aloud have been around for years does not mean they are better… spice girls were around for like 2 or 3 years but everyone worldwide knew who they were.. girls aloud have been around for like 5 years and no one in the U.S. knows who they are… i am from the U.s. and i have know clue who they are. spice girls were way bigger selling 55 million cd when girls aloud have olny sold 6 million(not even close)… i was born in 96 and they started in 96 but i was a 2/3 year old who can remember them and remember listening to them…
Spice girls win hands down
lee says
mrs cole shut ur mouth mel c is way better singer u ever be
kingdom says
i love SPICE GIRLS ever….im from indonesia…but i dont know who is a girls aloud…….who they are…….