The Super Bowl halftime show is a very, very prestigious gig. Some of music’s biggest stars have done a turn there. Prince. Paul McCartney. Bruce Springsteen. Er… Black Eyed Peas. In defence of the latter, they were awful and suicide rates went up six-hundredfold when they played.
Wait. That’s no defence. Did someone say defence? DE-FENCE! DE-FENCE! DE-FENCE!
Anyway, to make amends for the urine crotched BEPs, the organisers of the greatest commercial break on television have decided to announce that Madonna will be doing the halftime show at the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show on Feb. 5 in Indianapolis. Let those football tossing guys really see what a masculine, ripped Body Of David really looks like, eh?
Of course, the 653-year-old Material Girl will have other things to promote. She doesn’t sing because she loves it, y’know?
Her romantic drama W.E. just happens to be hitting theatres two days before the game. That’s handy isn’t it? She’ll probably churn out a greatest hits set while daydreaming of all those monstrously giant athletes getting rubbed down in the locker room.
For the show, she’ll collaborate with Cirque Du Soleil and Jamie King. She may well give us all a preview of a track that will eventually appear on her new LP, slated for underwhelming released in 2012.
Just remember though, if you’re working on the Super Bowl show – don’t buy Madge the wrong flowers or she’ll get those sinewy arms of hers and throttle you before your weeping family.
AND NO CLOSE UPS.
OKAY?