We really admire the Jackson estate. Honestly, when you look at how it’s dealt with the death of their beloved Michael Jackson it couldn't have done a better job.
Since his death in June, all sorts of wacko things have been continuing to happen to Michael Jackson. He saw a surge of popularity as people purchased his back catalogue, even the rubbish Invincible album. In true form, he didn't get laid to rest in a normal ceremony. Instead we got a comedy televised memorial as he lay in tacky gold coffin.
So what's next on the path to forcing the memory of Michael Jackson upon us all? Something that we know he loved, a theme park. Just perfect for children.
At the best of times, going to a theme park isn't the most enjoyable thing in a world. After setting off stupidly early to get a parking spot, the entire day is usually spent resisting the urge to smack small annoying children and waiting in queues. For all it's worth, a fifty-minute wait in line for The Drop Of Death doesn't add up when the ride is over within three minutes. But it's OK; you can compensate that letdown by paying ?3 for a can of coke. Value at its best.
Sadly, we don't know if Walt Disney and Michael Jackson will be doing battle in heaven. As we all know, Disneyland is the place to go when you want to go on strange and surreal rides and get cuddles off giant mice and dogs. As no rides have announced for the proposed Neverland theme park, we?d like to offer a few suggestions that fit in around the life and styles of Michael Jackson.
Bashir Bashing ? As we all know, Martin Bashir is the loveable journalist who exposed Michael Jackson as a creepy man who likes to climb trees and spend time with children. Subsequently, Michael?s credibility dipped a little bit when the documentary was broadcast. Why not vent your frustration by whacking a vinyl Bashir with a comedy mallet?
Virtual Reality Court Day ? After donning your helmet you can experience all the thrills of denying child molestation charges!
Bubble?s Poo Throw Adventure ? Despite being a loveable pet for Michael, there’s no doubt that his cuddly pet did a few toilets on the floor and proceeded to throw them around. Enjoy the feeling Michael had by avoiding five minutes in a room with a man spraying liquid shit at you.
Though our suggestions may not come true, The Mirror reports on a few things that could happen. Even if there boring and are in every other theme park in the world:
The attraction is set to be created in his native Gary in Indiana, complete with a replica of his controversial Neverland Ranch. Developers are planning to cash in on the King of Pop’s legacy by including a golf course, museum, 300-room hotel and a performing arts centre.
A Michael Jackson golf course is a total disgrace in our opinion. Everyone knows that after all his surgery and pain killers, his arm would snap off if he attempted to swing a golf club. Some people just have no taste and should learn to respect the dead.
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Steve Charnock says
“How dare you say…”
“Creepy?! This writer is a …”
Ha. Bring on the ol’ Jacko fans!
PS Jackson was a creep.
smz says
Laidlow, I think you are the one that is creepy. You are making money out of Michael Jackson with your biased and often bizarre worded articles.
Amc says
MIchael jackson is Awesome and will always be a Legend! :D
Zayn says
you all need to stop with the insults. yeah iam a Michael Jackson fan, so obviously iwill defend him, but still, whatever your opinion of him, have at least some respect. after all, the greatest musical artist of all time has passed on.
how do you think his three children feel when they read such atrocities like these.
just have a little respect, no matter what you think of him. at the end of the day, Michael is better than you, so just leave it.
nicola says
wot the fuck?
you are a low life
michael jackson was amazing and better than any person on this planet
you are a creep who the hells the writer cause once i catch you you will be going to a very different place mj;s in aye you will be goin to hell and i will take you there myself if i have too. you have just read a few paper and made half that stuff up try watching and reserching mike cause he is amazing
i cant believe you have wrote this here you mong.
you better watch your back mate
arsehole :| (N)
r.i.p KING OF POP
aye he had that title for a reason and u have a title for a reason to ” fucking mongoed twat ” read your story again to find out why you have such a good title mate !
Sara says
This is a good case of the fact that ignorant people like you should not be allowed to write publicly simply because it is poisonous.
Michael Jackson Chit Chat says
I think it is a great idea. Sorry you think so poorly of a man who tried to give so much. If anyone wants real news and information about MJ go to http://www.michaeljacksonchitchat.com. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Myspace as well.
IJJ says
One paragraph and you bored me with your blog.
How sad that you have to write about Michael in order to get some comments LOL
MJ will always be remembered for his music, as for you… no comment.
I hope you have the money to get a better coffin that he did, his was pure gold, fit to a king.
Michael was, is and will always be the king! Sorry if that hurts!
Anne says
Im disgusted at this gutter press article, if you didn’t like Michael then fine but please let the man rest in peace. He was found INNOCENT of all charges.Two families thought that they could extort money from him. The second family thought they could jump on the bandwagon and if you care to look this case up you will see that the mother had tried to extort money from other stars before Michael.If there were any justice in this world she would have gone to prison. I personally feel it would do you good to look on the Internet to see just how much good Michael did in his lifetime.(A damn sight more than you I know.)Perhaps you should talk to Ryan Whites mum she would tell you how amazing Michael was.He was a major force in music and the very least you can do is think of how his children will react if they came across your untrue rubbish. Have a bit of respect.
Anne says
I also want to add that “Invincible” is probably Michaels best ever album. You are probably the only person alive who thinks its rubbish.Just tell me I suppose you could do better!
JoeMomma says
Greatest musical artist? How so? By wheazing out lame pop songs with subliminal mind control messages included? Or by dancing around like an animated corpse? Or by not writing music or playing any insturments at any time?
Yeah he’s got them all beat.
........ says
really? i didn’t know that!
and neither do you idiot!
he was NOT a creep, if anything he’s the opposite!
tabloid eating moron.
Mary says
What kind of stupid article is this? What is this that u give a compliment to the estate then bash Michael in the rest of ur article. I think you are the creep. Only a creep would write so stupidly. All Michael’s albums, including Invincible, were excellent. How do I know? Because the fans made it a top seller. If Indiana, Michael’s birthplace, wants to have a theme park, so be it. Since ur too old and idiotic to go to theme parks, then it shouldn’t bother u. Bashit, yeah that’s his name, a loveable journalist? Scum on the bottom of my boot. However, you’re equally disgusting and lower than Bashit!
Michael Jackson is the King of Pop. Long live the king!
fhfh says
All You haters could go fuck yourselves…especially the shitty ass author of this article….do yourself a favor and get a real job…
Paul Gibson says
Truly, there ain’t no crazy like an MJ crazy.
Tim says
If anything, I feel sorry for this writer.
Tim says
Oh dear… Do you also believe the sky is red and that sheep can fly? Because your senses seem dreadfully distorted by the sound of things…
linda says
just leave MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE!!!!! I think people are very jealous of him dont you have any thing better to do in this world, leave him and his family alone, MJ R.I.P, YOU PEOPLE WHO TALK SHIT!!!YOU JUST WISH YOU HAD HIS MONEY AND TALENT
DS says
Matthew Laidlow and Steve Charnock – both coming out to play to suck each others dick – Michael Jackson will be forever remembered as the greatest entertainer who has ever lived and you two are nothing but putrid losers destined for inevitable oblivion. Now, go back to sucking each other’s cock.
JoeMomma – NOT WRITING MUSIC? MORON ALERT!! MORON ALERT!! DO SOME RESEARCH, IDIOT. If there was an animated corpse in this room it would be you and your puss-filled retarded brain. Michael wrote 95% of his music and the rest were collaborations – he was a gifted songwriter, one of the greatest dancers the world has ever known and a voice that could launch a thousand ships. He was one of the kind. Why don’t you go join Matthew and Steve here and form a circle jerk.
TBM says
If I met you in person, I would try my hardest to develop laser eyes, and burn your face off with them.
Sunny says
Right on that JoeMomma; seems the MJ FreakFanatics have decided to converge on our dear Matthew’s fun spin on the story. Humor, it’s a terrible thing to waste.
Dean says
Wow, u r a jerk… let the dead rest buddy
Angel says
You’re a full of sh** journalist. If you’re not going o sell good news, you might as well quit your negative piece of sh** job. You’re an idiot. People like you don’t get very far in life… You fail, you all fail.
Carefreedo says
This guy is a dickhead. He knows the only way people are going to read anything he writes is by making it about Michael Jackson. Sad bastard.
You got to pity MJ haters, they say they hate him but they spend all their time writing and reading about him.
BTW in a worldwide poll invincible got voted album of the decade. So how on earth can anyone call it rubbish without being mentally retar… sorry just realised he is.
Atleast we know its only the the vilest and most pathetic people on earth that are the haters of MJ. Only a real bastard would bad mouth the dead, especially one that gave hundereds of million to charity and left 3 kids behind.
He was always to good for this world.
R.I.P. MJ
adv says
You know for the person writing this article, I allege you must be ignorant. Because if you had half a brain, he would not talk the way you have in this article. The day will come when you will regret your words spoken here, and you may not see that right now, but you will, believe me. One thing is for sure you will not be remembered for being a great artist, whereas MIchael Jackson will. You will not be remembered for giving millions to disadvantaged children, but Michael Jackson will. You will not be remembered for being the greatest dancer that there ever was. But Michael Jackson will. You will not be remembered for being a film maker of Short Films, one of them the best selling album of all time, Thriller. But Michael Jackson will. You will not be remembered for anything really, not even this article, because you know why? You are nobody that’s why, whereas MIchael Jackson was a genius and yes before his time. So think about that next time you put pen to paper. What are you going to be remembered for? Certainly not your writing skills. I suggest you go and find your gift, that’s if you have one at all. Because Michael Jackson was the most gifted person on this earth, and there will never be another like him. I wish you well, but I think you must make a huge change to do something that you will be remembered for. Whereas Michael Jackson will be remembered for years to come. So get moving and find yourself something that you will really be good at, instead of writing rubbish.
JoeMomma says
Can someone with a psych degree or something create a questionaire for the MJ fans just to see what’s wrong with them? I’m still sticking to a heavy dose of flouride and the songs contain subliminal messages that these people are attuned to.
lilfoxieroxie says
WOW really? Michael wrote a lot of his own music, oh and btw he composed it as well. He was a musical innovator and you’re some creep who hasn’t accomplished anything crying on the internet.
Burch says
“how do you think his three children feel”
Less molested perhaps.
Burch says
Please Hecklerspray, can this be a daily feature?
Henkka says
This is just sad! Writing something like this is just a sign of a wasted life. Grow up, do something more meaningful with your life and leave people you never knew alone!(Cuz i kind of dare to bet you never met MJ)Hint: what about doing a story about the devastating events on Tahiti???? There
denise says
You are the one who needs to learn what the phrase respect for the dead means.
As for you, JoeMama, you need to get your facts straight. Have you ever bothered looking at the liner notes of any MJ album? Almost all of his most well-known hits, including Billie Bean, Beat It, Black or White, The Way You Make Me Feel, Bad, Dangerous, Smooth Criminal, Earth Song, Heal the World, We Are the World and many, many others were all written by him. He may have been a co-writer on some, but most of them he penned himself.
The only albums he did where the songs were not mostly written by him were the Jackson 5 albums and, as far as his solo career, the very early, pre-Thriller stuff. The songs he wrote on Thriller included ALL of that album’s biggest hits, with the exception of the title track. After that, every album was about 98% penned by him.
I get so tired of seeing people regurgitate that “he didn’t write any of his own songs” bullshit. Take two minutes and look at the fucking liner notes!
Oh, and as far as playing instruments…well, I’ll give you that but he was a pretty fair drummer and piano player. Not great, but decent…probably better than you could do. And besides, since when was playing an instrument the only gauge of talent? He was one of the most gifted and innovative dancers of all time, as well as one of our most unique and gifted singers. He could sing the hell out of anything even when he was just a little boy. I suggest you give a good listen to tracks like She’s Out of My Life and Man in the Mirror. Those performances are pure vocal genius.
Then again, it’s easy to sit behind a keyboard and rip the people who have true talent and made something of themselves, when you have none and your life consists of commenting on blogs and message boards.
klk says
Go back into the hole you crawled out of you asshole.
JoeMomma says
Actually, singing and playing an instrument are quite difficult to do at the same time.
But lip synching and prancing around is easy, that’s why all the pop stars do it.
Oh and so sorry about missing that he wrote some songs. Yes ‘Beat It’ and ‘Bad’ really move me. Well my bowels anyways. These are the songs that inspire that have REAL meaning.
I heard he played a great skin flute.
Keith says
Hey Laidlow!
What are you talking about fool??! You need to start sleeping with some children before you’re in any position to judge our sweet Michael.
Now why don’t you go back to the cave you crawled from, you make me want to boil turnips.
Juan says
Here we go…people like this guy pretending to care about mj when he is dead and then quickly turning on him!
Down with the illuminati!
mcai says
Wow MJ hasn’t even been dead a year and here this writer is bad-mouthing him. No one is forcing this guy to go to a theme park nor write about it.
So I guess the writer is only in it for the buzz. How disgusting is that?
MOONWALKER says
This writer needs to be slapped in the face! How does he call Michael Jackson’s memorial a “comedy” funeral! That was very Sad!
JoeMomma says
Ummm Juan…. not to get all conspiracy theorish on this board. But if ANYTHING MJ was a complete mind control slave and used to subdue the masses into brainless mush. Please see above comments from other ‘superfans’.
Moonraker says
Funny and sad.
gabriel says
Matthew Laidlow is a rat.. i bet he will kill himself soon.. keep that stupid humor of yours to yourself.. deaths is not funny you sick fool..
Miranda says says
“Creepy” what terrible words. It’s a great idea, and Michael is better than all you hater bone heads up here. Idiots.
meeshell says
Did you know him????
Cause if you did you would know he was not a creep…
Your mad cause he was found not guilty.. You and everybody knows your guilty YOUR THE CREEP…..
casi says
there is no need for u to be so rude. you have always disrespected michael and if you don’t like him finr but at least attempt to be respectful with ur articles.
StrangerInMoscow says
Haters such as yourself are and always will be a dime a dozen,…it is a disgrace that you find the need to fill the world with your vitrious bile,…maligning Michael Jackson,..the one and only King of Pop,…all the while the extent of your own “talent” seems to be going online,..(most likely from your mothers basement),..and prattleing your inane opinions into cyberspace.
You are a vile and loathesome little creature,…twisted in spirit and mean by nature,..stunted by your own shallowness and unable to ever grow.
You are not worthy to talk about Michael or even to wash out his dirty drawers for that matter,..you are what is commonly referred to as a two bit hack,…coarse and without class.
Here is a thought,..why don’t you try taking a good long look at what you yourself have accomplished throughout the duration of your own lifespan,…now let’s take a look at the list of Michael Jackson’s accomplishments and contributions to society,…H-m-m-m,…looks like you are most defintely the looser once again.
No big surprise in those results,..like I have already pointed out,…people such as yourself are a dime a dozen.
R.I.P. Michael Jackson The One And Only King Of Pop
Jan says
JoeMomma I got a degree and I am an MJ admirer so spew your bull to someone who is interested. To the rest of the haters:
Read Conspiracy book by aphrodite jones
read redemption book by geraldine hughes
read mary fischer article for GQ Magazine
Go to website thesilencedtruth.com see his charity work listed.
go to mjeol 2 community to see the video of tom mesereau who had witnesses to testify jordan had lied for his father. It is on you tube aswell.
see larry nimmer dvd the untold story of neverland.
go to charles-thomson.net to read articles from an award winning qualified journalist.
There is plenty more for you to look at but by the quality of the posts of JoeMomma he/she hasn’t bothered at all.
Angelica says
MJ was INNOCENT do your research you ignorant fools….
MJ was a kind hearted gifted beautiful soul that gave so much to the world and all the media did was trash & destroy him….
These articles do not upset me anymore because the only way these fools need people to read them is to write BS.if anthing I feel sorry for you…
noone cares who you are
MJ lives forever… L.O.V.E
Have a nice day
Mathew Laidlow idiot says
You disgusting tabloid whore. Your writing isn’t even amusing if that is what you were suppossedly sriving for – just pure downright tacky, and once again you had to take a cheap shot at Michael Jackson to give it a sensational airing. Oh how great he must be, if he is the man that can sell all your pathetic scribbles.
Vic says
Listen you moronic dildo, Invincible’s not rubbish. It’s got a ton of great songs on it. You probably didn’t even give it a chance. Since was MJ you decided to dog it without giving it a fair evaluation.