Lindsay Lohan Is Playing Step Mom

Lindsay Lohan New BoyfriendLindsay Lohan is still over in London, trying to salvage what little career she has left on Broadway.? While she hasn’t been fired yet, she has been seen stumbling out of some clubs, looking a bit still like the hot mess queen that she is.

But now it seems Lohan is settling down.? And not with some 20-something hanger-on, or a woman.? This time it’s an older guy with no only a real job, but a family.

Before you get your panties in a wad, Lindsay Lohan isn’t homewrecking, though that is totally something I wouldn’t put past her.? No, the guy she is seeing is not currently married, though he is a single dad.? A single dad whose two young daughters live with him.? Yes, you read that part right.? Lindsay is allegedly dating a guy with impressionable young girls for Lohan to fuck up.

Apparently the guy’s name is Patrick Mahony, and he is an investment banker.?? He may be older, but he has money and that is the most important quality Lohan looks for in a man (Someone needs to pay for Lindsay’s lifestyle, and you know she doesn’t hang out with?those foreign princes for their royal jokes).?? Says a source:

?She?s living with him. Lindsay helps the kids take baths. She really pitches in looking after them, and the girls really like her. She?s finally in a mature relationship with a really grounded guy.?

Obviously, Mahony has a damn good insurance policy on everything in his home that isn’t nailed down to the floor, because having someone with an addiction to 5 finger discounts living in your home is a bad idea.?? Not nearly as bad though as letting your children spend quality time with Lindsay Lohan.? What kind of bed time stories do you think she reads them? “Once upon a time, there this was this princess named Lindsay who wanted nothing more than to be the best actress in all the land, but then she met the evil queen, Cocaine, and lost both her career and her nose in the process.”? Yes, this is totally not going to bite Patrick in the ass once his girls hit 16.

It isn’t really a surprise though that Lohan is “read to settle down” considering just a few nights ago, she was out in the clubs with some friends (not drinking, because you know she’s totally sober), and couldn’t pay the bill.? Shockingly, yes, Lohan actually tried to pay her own tab, but when the club tried to swipe her card for the $2500, bitch was denied.? Everyone around the table had to scrounge in their bags to cover the bill.? I don’t think Lindsay’s been so publicly shot down since James Franco did his best Bill Clinton impression.