Lindsay Lohan Is Lying In London

Lindsay Lohan BBCSomeone in London doesn’t give a shit about their profession or  reputation, and so Lindsay Lohan was hired to be a part of the play revival of Speed-The-Plow.  Yes, for those who forget, Lohan at one point in time was an actress.

In case we all had no faith left in Lindsay, she’s now practically begging to fuck up by declaring how much she will NOT fuck up.  Sure, Lohan, like we’ve never heard that before.

After her reality show didn’t boost her career back to living as she thought it would, Lindsay Lohan still managed to find new work.  Now, that work is overseas, and it is a part of a revival of a play in which her role was originally portrayed by Madonna, but hey-it’s money that isn’t coming from some Nigerian prince for being a “companion.”  So really, this is a win for Lohan.

The play is called Speed-The-Plow, and Lindsay is in London preparing for her role.  Usually, when I think of Lindsay Lohan preparing for anything, it involves a lot of vodka, self tanner, and a couple of lines of the great white stuff.  However, serious actress Lindsay is back and claiming this time around she is doing all the right things to get ready for this role.    When asked during an interview with BBC if she will miss a bunch of rehearsals or nights of production, she wiped the tip of nose and shouted, “That’s not going to happen!”

“That’s not going to happen.  That’s not on the cards. It’s not.  I’m at a place in my life where I like the commitment. I’m looking forward to that part of it.”

I am getting such a sense of deja vu here, it’s crazy.

She is also claiming that she really is tired of being known as a boozy hot mess who spends more time trying to convince James Franco to bang her than not getting arrested.

“I want to be known for my talents and my work that I create, rather than a tabloid sensation.  However long it does take, I’m willing to do it. I’m willing to work for it.”

I am not quite sure Lohan remembers what real work is, honestly.   In fact, besides for totally exaggerating her work ethic, she is also playing the blame game.  This time on the whole of the nation here.  Yes America, it’s your fault Lohan can’t drive sober or show up on time for a photo shoot for a foreign magazine cover.  Damn early 1 pm call times.

“I’ve noticed here, watching the news, you guys have such a different outlook. In the US starting at 5pm it’s TMZ, it’s all these shows talking about people’s personal lives and here I don’t notice any of that – it’s news and politics and music.

So it’s nice to be able to turn on the TV and not everything is about gossip. That’s a really nice feeling.”

Except if it wasn’t for gossip sites and television, Lindsay would have had no one paying any attention to her for about 8 years now.Lindsay is also contemplating staying in London long term (read: without Oprah paying for that NYC apartment anymore, bitch has no where left o live).  So she is thinking of unpacking her boxes of stolen clothes for good, and moving onto to classier dudes to stalk.  Benedict Cumberbatch, I’d be very careful if I were you.

“I don’t put myself in situations where I used to.  In LA, when people go out at night, that’s all you do. It’s different now. I’ve matured and there’s nothing really left in that life for me.”
And like a trashy college girl who swears at 5 pm on Friday that she will NOT down too many pitchers of crappy Miller Lite and end up sleeping with some random frat dude again, only to be found pantyless on a sheetless mattress in the basement of a frat house covered in her own vomit, here is Lindsay maturely having a night out in London.
Lindsay Lohan Falls down

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