Former drunken mess Lindsay Lohan took over from that other drunken mess Chelsea on telly last night so it’s time to hop on-board the LiLo express because she’s fresh out the priory and has washed that vodka, coke and Adderall out of her hair. For this week at least. I think. Probably… maybe.
My second favorite ginge (she’s gossip gold, duh) right after Ron Weasley, donned a sleek black outfit and got her tan on and her hair did before plastering a permanent smile onto that trout pout of hers. She lasted the entire duration hosting Chelsea Lately on E! looking relaxed as she rolled with being the butt of rehab jokes, telling jokes of her own – or reading gags on a card like a boss- and interviewing actor Dylan Bruce.
When talking about Twilight actress Kristen Stewart’s angry tirade towards a paparazzo, Lohan made a dig and commented “I’m just excited that Kristen Stewart, you know, finally showed some emotion.” Whilst I’m not sure if that level of shade would make it into the pink fluffy Burn Book, it was a nice effort, you go Glenn Coco! …Although of course calling out an actress who gets steady work and was Forbes’ highest paid actress last year makes you look like a bigger dick for not getting any work minus ‘The Canyons’ gig which was widely slammed by critics. Erin Kohn writing for Indiewire wrote “Lohan’s performance is certainly terrible, but her steady slide started long ago.”
Justin Bieber and Harry Styles also took hits from Lindsay. She managed a not too awkward to watch interview with Dylan Bruce from Orphan Black and discussed him stripping off on screen.
Lohan will be sashaying across your screens with
empty promises on Oprah’s Next Chapter on Aug 18 as well as appearing on OWN again for an eight part documentary- reality type series. You don’t say no to Queen Oprah. Even when she tells you to cancel your plans to vacay in Europe, which according to TMZ, Lohan did.
Time will tell whether Lindsay can stay sober but there are thousands of angry jailbirds battling harsher circumstances than she’s endured only to have the book thrown at them for first offences of the same degree as Lohan. So she kind of owes it to the universe to pull her finger out, no? Lindsay is a seasoned pro at seeming humble when she has to but let’s hope she appreciates not being somebody’s bitch right about now behind bars.