You know what? It's literally never been a better time to be poor and from a third-world country.
Sure, there are all those daily downers: pesky little critters like disease and drought and civil war and the like. But maybe you starving kids should turn those emaciated frowns upside down – after all, it seems that your chances of getting 'adopted' by a good-looking celebrity are getting better all the time.
First Angelina Jolie went and snapped up a little blighter of her own. And then there was Madonna's globe-spanning quest to bag herself a poor helpless child to feed. It's quite literally looking like every underprivileged boy and girl in the world will soon be taken under the wing of a celebrity benefactor (providing they're photogenic enough, of course).
The latest star to jump on the bandwagon? None other than ladyboy-on-steroids Leonardo DiCaprio
According to New York gossip columnist Cindy Adams, Leonardo DiCaprio is:
"… financially supporting a little girl he met while filming Blood Diamond in South Africa."
Early word has it that Leonardo DiCaprio's arrangement won't quite take on the grabby-takey-vaguely-kidnappy undertones of Mrs. Richie's antics. Instead, the kid will stay exactly where it is while DiCaprio dishes out monthly payments. hecklerspray only presumes that the little sprog will therefore have the sort of financial prestige that causes outbreaks of jealousy come the end-of-term school Toy Day. You get the picture: spoilt young missy sat in the corner twiddling away on her PSP while all the other kids enjoy a round of their national game 'Ingest Enough Of The Handful Of Rice To Stay Alive One More Godforsaken Fucking Day'.
All this speculation is backed up by an interview Leonardo gave to a TV show recently:
"There was a young girl on that movie that I spent a lot of time with."
Quick word of advice, Leo? When you're here in the UK doing the inevitable press-trawl, it's probably best to avoid statements like that. Not unless you want to be hunted down by legions of News Of The World readers, all brandishing 'Protect Our Kids' banners and wielding pitchforks that they got from ram-raiding B&Q the other week.
Just a precaution, like.
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Disaster says
How pissed must that girl be? Angelina jets her adopted kids around the world at a moment’s notice, Madonna gives her adopted kid all the toys and gifts it could wish for and what does Leo’s kid get? A check for $5 every three months to keep her in rags. Nice.
Zeebz says
I really effing hate this society. Adoption is actually a fad among stars, that is so pathetic.
kizzie says
u were sexxi when u were young what happend
Smashly says
what are you talking about he still is cute!!!
maryam says
why you say that he is so so so cute!!!
la la says
OMG…leonardo dicaprio is soooo hot. i fell in LOVE with him when i was a little girl. i LOVED titanic. He will be my husband someday i know it. We’re getting married. haha
Elizabeth says
Hello My leonar.
it wanted that you were poor, that never you are actor asi you veria all the days in my way, and nonserious somebody hair net for you you are what you are, I want to you next to my. MY Leonar. it excuses my ingles is not good