Do you know what's fascinating about Leona Lewis? Nothing of course. In terms of phenomena, she's like ?that funny noise the fridge makes? ? something you're vaguely aware of but couldn't ever really have a strong feeling about.
Or so we thought, because look out world ? Leona Lewis has been lying her expressionless face off.
You know how she ?weally wuvs animwals? and is a public supporter of PETA? To the extent that she almost caused a mutiny among her road-crew the other month for insisting they all refrain from eating meat – surely the least interesting way to upset anyone ever?
If she were insisting they subsist on a diet comprising only of fairy?s wings and the tears of children THAT would be interesting. But the non-meat-eating thing ? Christ – that's up there with Paul McCartney and Gwyneth Paltrow in the ?things you couldn't care less about? stakes.
Anyway, the world was practically knocked off it's axis by recent reports that Leona has said
?I don't like evil cats.?
Correct us if we're wrong, but cats are animals aren't they? This shockingly out-of-character statement was prompted by a recent unprovoked attack. Not like that one in the bookshop when that bloke patiently queued for 90 minutes for the opportunity to hilariously lamp her one.
But an attack?by a cat!
As Leona harrowingly describes it
“A cat jumped on me the other week. They scare me. It hissed and scratched my legs – I didn’t know what to do! It was an evil cat.”
Jesus Christ! It actually jumped on her and stuff! That poor woman. That poor, non-animal-loving sphinx-faced lying woman. The PR machine surrounding Leona has previously been so efficient at suppressing any sign of any character traits whatsoever that we really don't know what to believe after this shocking event.
We preferred it when she was just giving interviews on T4 so tedious that the viewer could never really be sure they hadn?t actually fallen asleep and were just dreaming about a boring interview. This hurricane of ?not liking? things and having an ?inconsistent stance on animals? has blown our minds.
Oh stuff it we give up. We couldn't make this woman seem interesting if we tried. And we just have.
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kioko says
Stop poking fun at other people, whom you don’t even know! This is the THIRD time i’ve seen ‘journalists’ on this site write uncredible and over the top things about Leona! The previous one called her a ‘horse’! How incredibly mean! Just because she’s a vegeterian does not signal the chance to snipe at her with your unjustified views. I don’t think you’ll like to be treated the way you’re treating her.
Just think for a minute!
P.s: I scent that you’ve been bullied yourself in the past!