STOP THE PRESSES! BREAKING NEWS! Kylie Jenner 2.0 might be sleeping with a rapper who actually makes money, sells records, AND has a home of his own that isn’t just a well decorated dumpster behind Arby’s! Move aside, Hollywood Hobo Tyga, Kylie has once again been spotted with Travis Scott, a rapper I actually know and enjoy!
As you can see from the above picture, Kylie and Travis attended a basketball game together about a week after they were spotted canoodling and holding hands at Coachella. I think we all know what this means: there is no way Tyga is paying his child support again this month.
Unlike Tyga, who is mostly famous for fucking Kylie 2.0 and being broke (and looking like Donkey from Shrek), Travis Scott is crazy successful and mega talented. He performed with Kendrick Lamar at Coachella (whereas Tyga probably had to sell one of the watches Kylie gave him just to buy a ticket into Coachella), he’s worked with some of the biggest names in the business, and his last album, Rodeo, debut at #1 on the Billboard rap charts and #3 on the overall Billboard 200 charts. Also, regardless of what the above picture might imply, Travis Scott is a pretty good looking guy! He was linked to Rihanna! And featured in her Puma ads with her!
So Kylie is now hanging out with a successful rapper who has lots of his own money, is respected within the industry, and was once linked to Rihanna, whereas before she was dating a homeless “rapper”, who has about as much rap cred as Ja Rule (that’s mean, Ja Rule had hits), and was once linked to 14-year-old Molly O’Malia.
I hope to GOD that this is true and that riding on that successful rap dick will fix whatever malfunction there is in Kylie 2.0’s brain that makes her keep going back to Tyga. HE AIN’T GOT NO JOB, GIRL! HE AIN’T GOT NO MONEY! If you go back to him ONE more fucking time, I’ll be like: