You all remember Kim Kardashian, right? She’s the business woman and entrepreneur who is also the star of her own reality television series with her whole family. She’s worth a bit of cash is Kim but, in keeping with the American dream, vacuous idiots can always have more.
Is Kim Kardashian a vacuous idiot? IS SHE? WE ASKED IF YOU THOUGHT KIMMY K WAS A BLITHERING NINCOMPOOP?
No, of course she isn’t. Why?
Well, you might remember (or have had it forced down your throat by us every two days for the last month) that Kim was married to a young gentleman called Kris Humphries. Their marriage lasted something like 70 days before it was declared that they were splitting up citing “musical differences” or some such nonsense.
Many people with an iota of sense have claimed that the marriage was a stitch-up job, designed to allow Kim to sell the TV rights to her inspiring ‘life after Kris’ story and make a mint in the process. You’re probably thinking “Oh no! Poor Kris Humphries that I’ve never heard of before!” Don’t worry. He’s in on it too.
That makes Kim Kardashian a very intelligent woman indeed. Imagine the show! Think Katie Price’s documentary after her split with middle-parting extraordinaire Peter Andre. But with a bigger arse and a bigger budget.
Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? The chance to see a grown woman pretend to be heartbroken for the benefit of a camera crew. Still, she’s got to keep the illusion up and who better to “set the record straight” than Kim’s very own Mum.
Dear ol’ Mama Jenner told Now! Magazine:
?It certainly wasn’t a sham or something for TV,’
It certainly was.
‘We have enough going on that we don’t need to make things up.’
They don’t have to make things up. They have enough going on. They’ve just finished redecorating the Moon Base and they’re now moving on to upgrade the engines in Mrs Jenner’s Krispy Kreme sponsored Donut Rocket.
‘Kim really felt like she was in love with money Kris Humphries.?It was an amazing time. Like all of us that were watching, I had no idea there was a problem.’
Perhaps if they had done a ‘Newlyweds’ style show, the American public could have seen the cracks forming! Everyone likes to see a couple hurtle perpetually towards a messy divorce.
‘It saddens me that one of the rumours is we sold the TV rights, which isn’t true.?And that she profited from the wedding is absolutely not true.’
It’s not true, y’hear? Not true. That’s her mum saying that and she would have been involved in the negotiation of any TV rights so you can rest assured that it’s all poppycock.
‘She feels like she’s let a lot of people down. She’s sick about it.’
That’s true. It hasn’t been the same since Stuart Heritage left.
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