Hello! This story doesn’t make any sense! In fact, this story is so categorically stupid that it requires a key. So, here is a key.
KEY, YEAH?
*SCOTT JORDAN ? Man who says he looks like Justin Timberlake and substantiates this claim with a photo of himself in a trilby, which apparently is something the REAL Justin Timberlake would do. In 2002, at a stretch, possibly, Scott.
*KITTY BRUCKNELL ? Lead singer of Wham OR something a bit Councillor of the?Exchequer-y, we forget. Something a bit like that.
So Kitty Brucknell (Check the key) ?Yes, THE Kitty Brucknell, has reportedly broken up the marriage of a Justin Timberlake impersonator. That's what we're working with here. That’s?entirely what has happened, yep.
It's just exhausting really, isn't it? We work hard all day. We come home, and Kitty Brucknell has had sex all over a Justin Timberlake impersonator. Well, we suppose we could take the coherent objective of: “HEY! Who hasn't?” But as we well know, we would be lying to both you, us, and perhaps most importantly of all: every single person in the world who has not had sex with Scott Jordan, the Justin Timberlake Impersonator.
And nobody is quite NOT having any sex whatsoever with Scott Jordan, The Justin Timberlake?Impersonator?than his wife (Shit!)?Mrs Justin Timberlake impersonator.?(SHIT!) No sur?ee, definitely not a wink of frottage going on in that partnership, that’s for sure. Not any more at least, for that heart has been taken into the warm, ethereal, in-need-of-a-good-moisturise-if-you-ask-us hands of Kitty Brucknell, whom has been named on the divorce papers as being the sole reason for the relationships’ demise. You know, that man who you haven’t heard of at all ever.
No, not Matthew Wright from the Wright Stuff!?This other one.
Dare you to thumbs-down it, just to be a dick.
Anyway – according to ?Scott Jordan? (*Throws up arms in manner of Michael McIntyre demonstrating something we can relate to*) this woman is KRAZY. Like KANDY FLOSS WITH A K, kind of crazy.
‘She is a monster who does not think twice about tearing other people?s lives apart to get what she wants.
‘She thought being with me would make her famous and get her in the papers and she didn't care about how her manipulations and lies could have destroyed my career and my marriage.
‘My wife has been subjected to Kitty?s disgusting taunts and lies over the phone.
‘She makes me feel sick.’
Come on, Woman from The X Factor who looks like the sort who person who eats their own leg hair for sport and spent time in rooms containing lockable doors with Louis Walsh? Crazy? That word gets thrown around too much these days. CHEERS FOR THAT ONE, “GNARLS BARKLEY”
Come on Scott, the second best pop star impersonator of all time, (Yeah, as if we were going to let?THIS sucker slide) she's one of those lovable mentals, like Jack The Ripper, or Amanda Holden. All she did was break up your marriage with sex and violence. We do that sometimes instead of sleeping, or eating toast. Yeah, we beat our wives. That's how we're choosing to sum up this one. BAD WIVES.