Tottering sex-doll coin-magnet, Kim Kardashian might be moving in with her clumsy oaf of a boyfriend and you, dear reader, must and shall give a shit. This is important news and you are legally obliged to be thrilled for her or you’ll have your toe nails torn out with pliers.
Her boyfriend, as if you didn’t know, is called Kris Humphries and he’s about 9 feet tall and has a face like a blind welder’s thumb.
They’ve been talking about living in the same house together, and rumour has it that they’re already thinking about merging their CD collections together and all that staggering, amazing stuff!
That’s right kiddies! The hollow eyed reality star is thinking about moving to New York permanently after the gigantic basketball playing boyfriend asked her to move in with him.
A source dribbled:
“When he began talking about living together, Kim was thrilled. She feels that getting their own place is a major step toward a real commitment – that they’re on the road to marriage. She’s excited about decorating the place.”
Screw the Royal Wedding! This is the big-time! The real McCoy!
But wait, what’s this?
It appears that Kim will keep her home in LA too. Obviously, she’s wealthy enough to have more than one home, but it is probably a good idea in the event of her realising that she’s shacked up with a man who has a face like a verruca.
But she’ll marry him y’know? If he asked for her airbrushed paw in marriage…
“I probably would say yes. But it’s a personal thing. I don’t really want to talk about it. I think I haven’t found one thing wrong with him, let’s just put it like that.”
Next week: Kim reads toe-head’s text messages and it all goes horribly, horribly wrong.
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