Kim ‘we still haven’t quite worked out what her talent is yet, but we are working on it’ Kardashian is an unhappy bunny thanks to Bret Lockett claiming that he had an affair with her while she was courting her current fiance.
Kris Humphries, the current fiance, like Bret Lockett, is someone we’ve never heard of. We’ll assume that he’s some kind of celebrity taxidermist or something until someone tells us otherwise.
Either way, Lockett has been shooting his mouth off saying that he’d had an online and physical relationship with Kim K, which we can safely assume means emailing dirty pictures of themselves to each other. Kardashian doesn’t agree and is now hauling his not-remotely-famous arse into the courtroom to say “Oh yeah? Prove it!”
Kim’s lawyers are apparently drafting a defamation lawsuit against Lockett and, if they decide to act quickly (which they won’t because they’re lawyers who charge by the millisecond, thereby stalling when possible to bleed as much dough as possible) could have it filed by today.
While Bret is saying that he’s waggled his erection at her, Kardashian is maintaining that she’s never even met Bret. Like, ever. EVER.
Of course, Lockett is keeping his mouth shut. Which is weird seeing as he was so keen to noisily open and close it last week.
Basically, what we’re dealing with here is a naked, unashamed attention seeker of no discernible value being harangued by a complete no-mark who probably would like to stick his bits inside hers.
The world watches on and yawns, wishing that this wasn’t such a slow news month.
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