Khloe Kardashian’s Birthday Was Better Than Yours

30thbday

Last week, Khloe Kardashian (a.k.a. the funny/fat sister) celebrated her 30th birthday and, not to be done by North West, had herself one hell of a luxurious birthday weekend. On Thursday night, she had a huge birthday dinner with her family and friends (including Puff Daddy, so you KNOW that shit was fancy), and on Friday she threw a yacht party, which made North West’s “Kidchella” last week look kind of lame. 

Aside from throwing an over the top birthday weekend for herself, Khloe also got almost $100k in birthday gifts from her official boyfriend, French Monatna, which blows my fucking mind because I really didn’t think he had that kind of money, you know?

All the Kardashians (except Rob, because he’s gotten really fat and no longer serves any purpose to them) showed up in New York on Thursday to celebrate the 30th birthday of the sister who actually makes their reality series worth watching: Khloe.

They started the festivities with a big dinner at  P. Diddy’s Don Coqui restaurant on City Island in the Bronx, where French Montana gave his gf a fuck ton of expensive ass gifts: a custom grill worth $10,000 (no, I’m not joking), an 18-k Colombian emerald ring worth $25,000 (right now he could have paid off my credit card and student loan debt), and a white Jeep Wrangler (which is about $50,000, making it a pretty cheap vehicle to give to a Kardashian).

Though I am super impressed with his gifts (ok, maybe just the ring. A jeep and a grill? Really?) I don’t really understand where French Montana got this kind of money to drop on Khloe’s birthday. I mean, I legit only know him as Khloe Kardashian’s boyfriend and from rapping on a song on Miley Cyrus’s album, and I feel like that didn’t exactly cause him to roll in dough.

cuteiguess

Anyway, the two were super affectionate the next night at her yacht party and I’m sure my prediction that she will have an UsWeekly cover within the next month about how she’s found love after Lamar will come true. I should really just go become a psychic or something because I kind of have this shit on lockdown.

Lunchtime poll: which party would you rather have attended? North’s Kidchella or Khloe’s yacht party? I’d totally go for the yacht party. Last year, I went on a booze cruise (it was basically 40 drunk 20-somethings on a tiny whale watching boat playing “Blurred Lines” on repeat) and I had a lot of fun and I kind of just assume that Khloe’s party was just a classier version of that.

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