Khloe Kardashian has 99 Problems but Lamar Odom Ain’t One

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In a shocking turn of events (aka events we’ve all seen coming forever now), Khloe Kardashian has finally decided to officially kick Lamar Odom’s cheating, drugged out ass to the curb.

On Friday, Khloe filed for divorce citing the classic “irreconcilable differences.” Don’t you wish divorce papers had more real talk reasons for divorce? Shouldn’t Khloe be allowed to cite “cheated on me a whole bunch while high on crack cocaine and even made a high as fuck rap tape about it” as her reason for filing?

To be perfectly honest, I’m actually sad about this. Unlike that joke of a marriage between Kris and Bruce Jenner, Khloe and Lamar seemed really adorable and in love, and Khloe is by far the coolest Kardashian, so it sucks that her marriage was torn apart by something as shitty as infidelity and drug abuse.

Khloe and Lamar married back in 2009 after only knowing each other for a month. I can’t even decide if I’d let someone borrow a top after a month, let alone marry their ass, so I guess it was kind of doomed from the start.

Aside from only knowing each other for a month before marrying, Khloe and Lamar had tons of problems over the year that made this whole divorce thing no great surprise to anyone. There have been tons of rumors about Lamar’s drug use, he was arrested for a DUI (even though Khloe went to jail for a DUI on an episode of Keeping up With the Kardashians, so you’d think that would be a bonding moment for them), there are tons of allegations of infidelity, and who can forget all of Khloe’s 14-year-old emo girl Tweets?!

“She smiles to mask the pain in her heart. She laughs to conceal the tears in her eyes.”

That shit’s deep.

It’s so sad that a couple who released a joint fragrance called Unbreakable is breaking up. The irony, and the sadness, is not lost on me, folks.

 

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