You Can Now Wear Ke$ha’s Golden Penis Around Your Neck

KeshaAt the bargain price of $20, Ke$ha’s seen a sharp rise in the amount of people clamoring to get their hands on her genitals.

The singer and urine enthusiast has just launched her first jewelry collection, and it’s every part as sleazy and glittery as you would expect from a woman that has ‘Suck it’ tattooed on the inside of her lip. If you’ve ever looked in to your jewelry box and thought ‘It’s good, but it needs more phallus’, then the Kesha Rose collection might be the answer to your slightly bizarre prayers.

The Kesha Rose by Charles Albert collection launched online on Tuesday, and it’s already sold out of it’s signature piece – a $20 pendant adorned with a not-quite-anatomically-correct rose gold penis.

Kesha jewelery collection - penis necklace

And it’s not even Valentine’s day for another six months! If you don’t fancy wearing your penis around your neck, you can also get it in charm, earring and ring form. Frankly, the fact that she missed out on making a ‘cock ring’ joke when naming these collections is a damn waste.

Incidentally, the collections are named after Ke$ha songs – ?there’s Warrior, Wonderland, Cannibal, Out Alive, and the penis ones are from the ‘Grow A Pear’ collection. Whenever she performs ‘Grow A Pear’ live, there’s almost always a guy dancing around in a penis costume behind her, so there’s a good chance this entire collection is just one big celebration of the Electra complex.

The thought of trouser snake themed accessories can be a little intimidating to some, so the line also offers gold teeth pendants until you are ready to work your way up to more scandalous body parts.

kesha jewelry collection - gold teeth earrings

Everything else is pretty but boring in comparison – a whole lot of skulls, flowers and those precious stones that hippies think have magical powers. All in all, it’s a very pretty way to quench any penis envy that’s hiding away in your psyche – and isn’t that all one looks for in a necklace?