When we grow up and become uber famous, you can bet that we’ll launch a million different self-help products.
However, people who like to tell others what to do can sometimes come across as bellends. Prime examples are PETA members who constantly remind us that we're scum for butchering innocent baby lambs. What's even worse is when two lowlifes start mouthing off at each other and claim that they’re the gods of society.
Kerry Katona appears to think that she’s an upstanding member of the public, and has vented her fury over Katie Price?s treatment of Peter Andre. Could we care less? Not really, but it's amusing to watch, like a dog chasing its tail.
Everyone has heard of Katie Price. Even babies who are living inside their mother?s womb. It was pretty much impossible to get away from the news when she and Pete split up, and she still acts like a schoolgirl who bickers over the affections of a boy who?ll quite likely turn out to be gay when he hits puberty. We can firmly say that Katie Price is the crown princess of fake-tanned, implanted folk.
Also fighting for the title of ‘princess in waiting of fake tanned, implanted person’ is none other than Kerry Katona. She's best known for winning the jungle show at some point last decade and whoring herself out for fame, all while everyone wished that she and everyone else in it would accidentally get bitten by a deadly snake. At one point, Kerry also represented Iceland. But not the country, dear reader; instead it was everyone's sixth-choice supermarket where she promoted deals of 10,000 sausage rolls for ?5.
Because she has lost her own MTV reality series and Iceland deal due to hoovering cocaine up her snout, and split up from her partner Mark Croft, Kerry needs something to be vocal about. And bless her loud northern polyester socks; she's had a pop at Katie Price. Of course, it can be argued that the divorce between Katie and Peter Andre happened a long time ago. But that hasn't stopped her. The Mirror quotes:
?I remember seeing a clip of Katie kick off at Pete and it was disgusting. I wouldn't have stood for it. I love Pete. I'm Team Pete all the way. Pete?s the best thing that ever happened to her. She's walked all over him and he just looks so sad. She totally crucified him on a TV show talking about his bollocks ? I'm not surprised that he ended up leaving her.”
We get the feeling that she might like Peter Andre just a little bit. Read the above quote again with your detective cap on and see if you can spot the hints like we did. But why would Kerry Katona spout her greasy affection for ?Team Pete? now? Does she want to shack up with him and form some sort of dominant power-couple created from the ashes from previous couples that appeared on a ropey reality TV show?
Umm? probably not. It appears that she is being looked after by Peter?s management company Can Associates. Probably best not to slag off your own kind. That would like having a herd of giraffes with a midget included. It simply wouldn't look right.
Cue a depressing and inevitable retort from Jordan any day now.
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