PETA, they're a pesky bunch aren't they? Whenever an opportunity arises, you know that one of their weak and feeble members will be around to call you nasty names. Such is their obsession with animal rights; they didn't see The Human Centipede as a gross-out horror film, but as a powerful documentary showing man continuing to push animal experimentation to the limit.
Here in the hecklerspray bedsit, we bloody love animals. As we sit in our leather chair, we pass the time by playing a jolly song on our ivory piano and flicking cigars into our monkey paw ashtray.
If PETA had it their way, they?d make animals the rulers of the world. Until this happens, we?ll have to put up with them whining for a bit longer. Normally we?d ignore them, but sometimes they hire people to spread their word. This time it's Kelly Brook who has revealed herself to be part-snake. CAN SHE UNHINGE HER JAW?!
In the UK, we don't really have any problems with reptiles or amphibians. Because of our awful weather, the poor creatures would die pretty much instantly in the wilderness and then resemble nothing more than a long frozen poo.
The last time that snakes made any impact in our lives was when screen legend Samuel L. Jackson voiced his discomfort about snakes being present on an aeroplane he happened to be on.
And while Samuel L. promptly went about killing as many snakes as he could, like some kind of modern day St Patrick, other celebrities would rather cuddle our limbless chums and join PETA in their crusade of spreading the word about animal rights.
X Factorist Leona Lewis has worked for PETA during their ?I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur? campaign. Either the head honchos at PETA want the public to realise that the human body is beautiful without a dead animal skin wrapped around them or, as we suspect, they just want to get people naked because they’re massive perverts.
Either way, Kelly Brook has basically been asked to strip off, be painted like a snake and pose for a photo for with the attached caption; ?Whose Skin Are You In?? We can safely say that we're wearing our own, thanks. Kelly said about the campaign:
“It makes my skin crawl to think about the violent ways snakes, lizards, alligators and other exotic creatures are raised and killed for boots, bags and belts.?
Wearing clothes made by children in sweatshops is fine though. Sod humans. They have talking mouths, so they don’t need help like hugely venomous snakes that are really hard to catch.
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