Do you fancy Keira Knightley? Well good news for you, pervert, because she’s back on the market after splitting up with someone called Rupert Friend. We can only hope she said “its not that I don’t love you… I just see you more as a frie… oh…” during the actual breaking-up talk.
Anyway, Friend (whoever he is – he’s got a peculiar face though, that’s for certain) could well have walked away from Knightley after settling down with The Worst Film Ever Made, Domino. Watching that, he would have realised that Knightley is one of the most sexless humans on Earth.
So what made these two people who are rarely written about go their separate ways?
You hardly see Knightley in the press do you? She’s never quite made the leap into A-list status, yet, it is the trials and tribulations of fame which have wrecked her relationship with Rupert, which has been going on for 5 years apparently. We didn’t know. We didn’t even have the vaguest notion.
That’s because she’s not that famous, really.
Which is surprising really, seeing as she’s one of the stars of the hugely successful Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp wouldn’t be able to silently fart in a vacuum without swarms of paps descending on him and wanting to relay the story in a gossip column.
Knightley and Friend meanwhile have called last-orders on their relationship, imagining that everyone wants a piece of them. And that’s just odd.
Keira’s father told a tabloid newspaper:
“Yes, they have broken up.
“They were together for quite a long time and it is always hard breaking up. She’s focused on her work.”
So there you have it. Someone you had kinda forgotten about has split up with someone you’ve barely heard of. Don’t worry – we’re setting up a helpline for all of you who have been hit hard by this news.
Anyway, this is what Rupert Friend is(n’t) missing out on…
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