There’s something creepy about this. Is it that Katie Price asked a 13-year-old boy if he was staring at her tits?
No. Is it that, when the same 13-year-old boy reached the front of the queue at a book-signing event, Katie Price wrote “To Jack and wet dreams” to him? No. Is it that the first thing the 13-year-old’s full-time carer did upon reading the message was rush to The Sun to sell her story for as much money as she could get? Again, no.
The creepiest thing about this whole story is that a 13-year-old boy actually bought a copy of a Katie Price book in the first place. That’s what’s so creepy about this. Doesn’t the boy know that Katie Price books are only read by girls and desperately lonely old women? Ugh. What a creepy little weirdo.
We thought that, by stealing Gareth Gates‘s virginity like some sort of monotonous, giganto-titted sex vampire all those years ago, that Katie Price had got her fondness for insufferable wet-mouthed youngsters out of her system. But, no, that’s obviously not the case. Because, you see, Katie has just written something vaguely rude inside a teenage boy’s book.
Here’s roughly what happened: 13-year-old Jack McBirney recently attended a signing session for Katie Price’s new novel Paradise in the Exeter branch of WHSmith. Incidentally the session also broke the world record for the highest density of clueless, awful, bad-haired, objectionable, moronic, mealy-minded, mouth-breathing yokels ever gathered together in the Exeter branch of WHSmith, but that’s not important.
When young Jack reached the front of the queue, Katie Price apparently asked him if he was staring at her tits. Even though he almost certainly wasn’t – because if he wanted to look at something that misshapen and scar-covered and depressing, he would have just stayed at home and watched a documentary about Hiroshima instead – Jack became shy. And that’s when Katie Price decided to write “To Jack and wet dreams” in the book for him. And that’s when Jack’s carer lost her temper and rushed off to The Sun to wail about it:
“That woman is a disgrace. Jack is 13 for heaven’s sake. Imagine a grown man leaving a sex message for a girl that age. They would be arrested. She is a mother and should know better. Jack looks his age – he is very obviously a young teenage boy and it was wrong. People should think twice about letting children go to a Katie Price book signing.”
That’s the moral we should all take from this – that you should never take a child to a book signing for a binge-drinking titty model with her own internet sex tape, because she might not turn out to be the upstanding moral citizen that you expected her to be. Another moral you could take from this is that people from Exeter are colossally stupid.
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