Katie Price has written a new novel, presumably to help you identify train passengers that you hate.
But the book isn’t important. What’s important is how Katie Price is marketing it. Yes, Price courted attention by rocking up to the book launch in a leotard with the title splashed across her tits, but that’s nothing new – everyone from F Scott Fitzgerald to Paul Of Tarsus has done that at some point. But she’s also landed herself in trouble for saying that children of divorced families are ‘lucky’.
After all, Katie’s parents split up when she was a toddler and she turned out OK. Apart from the way that she invented a secondary personality to hide behind, then mutilated her body to appear more sexually attractive, then kept compulsively taking her clothes off for the approval of strangers, obviously. Apart from all that, she turned out OK. Sort of.
Katie Price’s children might not know it yet, but they’re so incredibly lucky. One day they’ll grow up, see all the topless photos of their mother, watch that video of her having it off with Dane Bowers, read the torrent of bitter interviews that came in the wake of her divorce from Peter Andre, witness that interview where she flashed her norks at Piers Morgan and listen to that tinny death rattle of a recent single and realise just how incredibly lucky they are to her as a mother.
But that’s not the only way that they’re lucky. They’re also incredibly lucky that they now come from a broken family. No, really, Katie Price says so and everything. During an interview to promote her new book – and, incidentally, we’ll disown you if we ever catch you reading it – Price unveiled this piece of diamond-hard logic. STV reports:
“Any child that has parents who are divorced are lucky. They get extra Christmas presents, birthday presents and extra trips… I revert back to when my mum and dad split up. I was three or four and I can’t even remember it.”
Needless to say this comment hasn’t gone down especially well with family groups, who’ve pointed to all the cases of emotional distress caused by parental divorce and then pulled a sort of ‘durr’ face at Katie Price. But maybe she has a point. Maybe children of divorced families really are better off after all.
Unless they happen to be the children of Katie Price and Peter Andre, obviously. That’s something that everyone can agree on, at least.
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