People in the real world have to deal with emotional heartbreak in different ways to famous people. The best way to cope with a break of a partner of several years? Go and get yourself utterly drunk, vomit up your insides and then suffer in self pity the next day. What could be better? Possibly releasing a single telling the ex to basically go fudge himself?
Yeah! That?ll do.
Former tit-model-cum-fame-whore Katie Price has decided to do this. But she seemed to do it the wrong way round. After divorcing Mysterious Girl twonk Peter Andre, she ran in to the arms of Alex Reid who gives all kick boxers a bad name. Recently they got married in a tacky ceremony which would have been complete if a pink unicorn was the ring bearer. Ironically, she just released a flop single called Free To Love Again. She isn't a swinger is she?
The key to success in the music world these days is to extensively tour, make yourself unique and constantly get your video played on music channels.
What did Katie Price do?
She went on to GMTV ? you know that show that is so successful that it's getting old One Show presenters to help it before it drowns in its own piss-poor attempts at being entertainment. We guess Katie Price did do something to get people to notice her single’s performance – she made it totally gash.
Baring in mind that this was being broadcast 9.30am, it seemed weird that Katie Price wanted to get everyone motivated for going out for a Friday night. Wearing trousers that resembled a few dozen bin bags wrapped round her legs and held together with duct tape, she topped it off with tangerine makeup and a quiff that Jedward would be proud of. Sexy and sophisticated – no; looking like a back alley stripper who got turned away from every lap dancing establishment? Why, yes!
Don't worry Lady Gaga, we haven't quite yet found a wacky British version of you yet. Perhaps when one of The Saturdays leaves the band, she can reinvent herself and come back wearing clothes made out of used pizza boxes. What does make the situation better is that Katie Price herself has admitted to being pretty much useless when it comes to singer; she's been quoted as saying:
“I’m not the best singer in the world, let’s be honest.”
Hmm, perhaps that's why she only sold 3,000 copies and flew in to the chart at a staggering number 60. But fear not, we guess she can always write another book about her time as popstar and bring it out in time for Christmas.