Katie Holmes is Way Hotter and Less Crazy Since Leaving Tom Cruise

smokeshowKatie Holmes is on the upcoming issue of Glamour magazine and she looks like an absolute fox. I mean, a real 10. And inside the magazine she gives an interview that, dare I say, doesn’t creep me out. Remember back when she was with Tom Cruise and she cut all her hair off and only gave interviews that sounded like she was whacked on Ativan and said “magical” in like every sentence?

Well, like Nicole Kidman before her, now free of Tom and Scientology, Katie has re-embraced the hot, stopped drinking the magic kool-aid so she sounds like a real person again, and is rebuilding her career. Hot bitches who are better off without Tom Cruise: 4*, Scientology: 0.

In the magazine, Katie gives the first interview in years where I find her sounding like an actual human being and not just some sort of Scientology programmed Stepford wife. She even talks about motherhood without even once using the word magical!

I am really focused on motherhood and work right now.?When I became a mother, my life completely changed. I’ve seen Frozen a lot.

What a normal fucking thing to say. SERIOUSLY! Katie Holmes talking about work and watching Frozen and not talking about the golden magical light that is Tom Cruise and how blessed and magical it is to be married to him is actually amazing, because it’s been so long since we heard anything real come from her.

Katie also talks about her upcoming film, The Giver, which co-stars Meryl Streep, because we all know once you break up with Tom Cruise you 100% have to go work with Meryl Streep to prove your career isn’t shit anymore (Nicole Kidman in The Hours, anybody?)

Being in a movie with Meryl Streep?was a huge dream come true. When the cameras rolled, she was spot-on and such a pro.

Aside from talking like a non-robot, Katie also posed for a bunch of sexy pictures like this one:


Talk about a fucking babe. It’s pictures like this that remind me why back when I ran my own celebrity magazine (I cut pictures out from other magazines, glued them to sheets of paper, wrote my own articles, photocopied the sheets, stapled them together, called it “Girl Talk”, and sold it to my friends for a quarter), I named Katie Holmes Most Beautiful Belebrity of 1998. I mean, she just barely beat out Josh Hartnett, but still.

It’s good to have you back, Katie.

*In case you were wondering, the four in question are Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Sofia Vergara, and, now, Katie Holmes.