Models are, if we’re being honest, the most crashingly wearisome humans on Earth. They’re hired to be transparent when wearing clothes (why would a designer hire a human who actively distracts you from their clothes, huh?) and work so much that their lives are a series of non-events.
The only time anyone gets truly interested in a model is when they start talking about the terrible regimes they endure to stay so sickeningly thin. Laxatives, cigarettes and bulimia doesn’t make for a glamorous proposition.
And so, Kate Moss has started work on her first autobiography, which will hopefully be mostly focusing on what a monster Naomi Campbell seems to be.
The model, who became vaguely more interesting recently after marrying The Kills’ Jamie Hince last month, has already started work on her biog, which will include revealing details of her past and career.
We can assume she’ll talk about drugs (she went out with lightbulb of pus, Pete Doherty for starters) and wealthy businessmen making dodgy propositions at her. In other words, we’ve heard it all before but Moss will absolutely be under the impression that she’s writing the most important book in the world.
A source says:
“Kate has always held back from giving interviews so the public don’t know what she’s really like and what’s she gone through in her life.
“She’s never opened up about her parents’ divorce, having daughter Lila or her relationships with former boyfriends including Johnny Depp and Pete Doherty. Her fans will be desperate to read it and she’ll make an absolute fortune.”
Fawning, idiot fans of Moss will be wetting themselves no doubt, hoping to live vicariously through her past without actually getting ’round to living their lives for themselves.
How wonderful.
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