You have to admire Kanye West’s dedication to the whole Jesus metaphor. It’s gone way past a nickname and appearing on the cover of Rolling Stone in a thorny crown the way that teenage girls at Coachella wear flower garlands. He’s now performing full blown miracles on his loyal followers.
Well, just the ones that fork over the cash to see him live, but he’s probably still paying off that 224 ft engraved marble wedding table that I’m assuming is still stuck in Italy.
Yeezus blessed Sydney with his presence on Friday, and apparently the disciples (What do you even call Kanye West fans? Answers on the back of a postcard) weren’t showing the proper level of respect towards their esteemed leader. So much so that Kanye stopped the entire show, and demanded that every single person in the stadium got on their feet before he’d carry on. Can you see where this is going yet? The Onion are probably kicking themselves for not thinking of this one before it actually happened.
Kanye told the packed stadium:
“I decided I can't do this song, I can't do the rest of the show until everybody stands up…Unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and shit.?
Two people in the entire place dared not to join in with the standing ovation, and Kanye’s eyesight zeroed in on them like something built by Skynet. Unfortunately there seems to be a bug in the system because his eyesight wasn’t good enough to notice the fact that one of these party poppers had a prosthetic leg (understandable, I guess) and the other one was sat in a wheelchair.?That’s pretty hard to miss, even for a guy that spends half his days eyeing up his own colon, due to the fact that his head is shoved so far up his own ass.
The lady with the prosthetic leg literally removed her falsie and waved it in the air at him to let him know that she did indeed qualify for a handicap pass, and he graciously allowed her to sit back down.
It gets worse. Kanye then reportedly told the waiting fans that “this is the longest I’ve had to wait to do a song, it’s unbelievable.” Meanwhile, big beefy security guy is making his way through the crowd to confirm that the guy is not just using the wheelchair as the latest accessory and tells Kanye that he is free to continue to with the concert he’s being paid thousands of dollars to perform.
Kanye just replied with “Oh, he is in a wheelchair? That’s fine then.”
So there you go, parents, siblings and significant others of the world. If your loved on drags you along to a Kanye West concert at some point in the near future, consider amputation to get out of showing any kind of enthusiasm!