In the world of celebrity marriages, there are landmines everywhere ready to blow up and make the world judge the crap out of your relationship. Seems Jessica Biel hit a big one recently because she didn’t show up to an after party with husband, Justin Timberlake. Now obviously this means they are on the verge of a World War 3 divorce battle because it couldn’t be something as simple as Biel had a particularly shitastic visit from Aunt Flo or anything.
Of course, there is always the possibility that it was Biel’s weekend to spend quality under the sheets time with her “close” girl friend.
Last weekend, Justin Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live for what feels like the hundredth time (although I am not complaining, since his episodes are one of the only ones these last few years that isn’t totally god fucking awful). Afterwards, the cast and crew all got together and got their party on. Timberlake stayed and hung out until 5 am without his butchier half, which got all the chickens squawking all night. Don’t bitches know they have to be attached at the hip 24/7 otherwise everyone is going to automatically assume the worst?
Biel also didn’t ride Justin’s coattails at the American Music Awards in November, which I think is more stupid than a sign of a rough patch. Biel’s acting career is basically in the shitter, girlfriend needs to take every chance she gets to get any good publicity. I mean, isn’t that the whole reason these two got married anyway? It’s not like these two scream “TRUE LOVE 4 EVA!” when you see them, and most of us have heard the rumors about Biel’s love for the carpets.
To add a cherry to the trouble in paradise sundae, Timberlake hasn’t been wearing his wedding ring all the time during his current tour, which obviously shows that he is trying to get some groupie love. Except anyone who is a fan of his knows full right well he has a wife, and many of them would still do the Jersey Turnpike in his tour bus for him if he asked. So Justin, just like any other musician, really doesn’t need to forget his ring on the sink to convince girls to get in his bed. Newsflash- a groupie ho is a groupie ho, standards are not required.
Really, these two are probably just fine. I am sure their lawyers had contingencies put into their legalese that this showboat had to go on for at least 3 years to make it seem legit and invested. And I think I know what the real issue here is for people, and that is that married people can’t be independent. A duh. It’s totally written in your marriage license somewhere about this, check the fine print.