Well, well, well. It looks like the prey has become the predator. I say this as for years, barely legal Justin Bieber has been dating and banging women often significantly older than him. Even Selena was 18 when she started dating a 16-year-old Justin which would have been heavily judged if they’d been in high school together. Like, a senior dating a sophomore? What a sad old loser.
However, Justin has clearly been spending way too much time with Tyga because the now 22-year-old is dating the not-even-legal-yet 17-year-old daughter of Lionel Richie, Sofia. Is it just me, or is Justin just sort of fucking his way through Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s group of friends?
Last week, Justin was Instagramming pics of himself, his pal, and a bevy of scantily clad hot babes on vacation swimming naked and shit as part of his, what I like to call, Gonorrhea Tour 2016. This week, he’s Instagramming pics of himself and Lionel Richie’s underage daughter together in Japan.
Before we go any further with this, I would like to point out that I realize 5 years is not a huge age difference and Sofia Richie is barely underage, BUT, have you guys SEEN Sofia Richie? She is nothing like Kylie 2.0, a once 17-year-old girl who rebuilt herself to look like a 25-year-old third trophy wife. Sofia Richie looks fucking 12-years-old:
Sofia Richie can’t legally have a drink in the US for 4 years, but it looks more like 9 years. Seriously, if her and Justin Bieber weren’t famous and I saw them together at the mall, I would be like: Wow, look at this dirt bag 20-something guy with his shitty basement tattoos holding hands with his 13-year-old girlfriend, could someone please get me the number for Chris Hansen? K, thanks.
Does Biebs just really want to go to prom or something because he missed out on his own, because I really don’t get it?
Also, can’t this guy find new group of girls to fuck with? Seriously, in the past year he has legit been straight up strictly banging chicks who fly on private jets with the Jenner sisters.
For starters, there was their sister, Kourtney:
Then, there was Jenner BFF and Sofia Richie’s fellow kind of pretty/kind of weird looking celebrity offspring, Hailey Baldwin:
And now, Sofia, who has been a long time friend of Kylie Jenner:
I LITERALLY feel like Justin is just trying to bang as many girls that run with Kendall and Kylie as possible so Kendall Jenner’s 21st birthday party in November will be CRAZY awkward. AND if that’s the case, I’m here for it, because that’s kind of hilarious.
But seriously, who goes from banging mother-of-three, Kourtney Kardashian, to looks-like-she’s-three, Sofia Richie, in less than a year? Bieber went from Mrs. Robinson to Lolita in the blink of an eye.
But in all seriousness, Lolita is a novel about serious sexual abuse, I shouldn’t be making jokes. HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY!