Celebrity Breasts aka Jordan aka Katie Price is preparing herself for the possibility of representing Britain at the 50th Eurovision Song Contest. The European annual favourite will be broadcasted on the 21st of May from Kiev in the Ukraine.
Terry Wogan will no doubt commentate the evening with his dry Irish sarcasm, which will be welcomed by other viewers who share the same disgust for this biased European nonsense.
The last few years have seen Eastern European countries dominate, whilst Britain struggles to score any points at all. You tend to do well if you have lots of neighbours and get on with them all. Real life does not equal Art.
The luck of the Irish always works as they are often competing for the top spots. In reality, a great percentage of the population of Europe take this event very seriously and there is stiff competition to be had for each country being represented.
The decision of the British winner, who will compete in the contest is to be made on the 5th of March. Check out the latest odds on Betfair. Last year more than a million pounds changed hands on the night – the betting is wild and the odds change by the minute.
hecklerspray isn’t whether we will see the plastic fantastic glamour girl in action until then, but we do know that Jordan will go up against Girls Aloud reject Javine, as well as Gina G who once represented the UK back in 1996.
And what about those secret weapons of mass construction, Jordan’s breasts? Bad news for the silicopervs, as the seemingly schizophrenic Jordan said, "I’m not going to try and use my body, that’s the Jordan side. I’m going to be Katie Price."
This, we believe, will hinder the support of the British public, should she win the bottom of the barrel job of singing for Britain in the Eurovision.
Her track entitled ‘Not Just Anybody’ fits the bill because here we have a girl who went from a little girl, to page 3, to big tits, to jungle bunny and now she is the queen of celebrity blood sucking. With Andre to boot.
And as illustrated by the ITV2 program Jordan and Peter, it seems as if Jordan is finding it difficult to keep her private life and her knockers to herself. It’s different for Katie though, who is entirely normal.
Imagine the choreography, will she have any or will her bosoms let her down?
Well, let’s just hope she wins so we can finally see this hidden talent of performing.
Will it really beat those moments where we have seen her stepping out of a London cabbie with a mini-skirt revealing what lies deep within in the valley? The S-pervs will have to wait and see.