Jessica Simpson Starring In Baywatch Movie?

Jessica Simpson is famous despite not being conventionally talented. When Jessica Simpson sings, birds fall from the trees dead; and when Jessica Simpson acts, the trees uproot themselves and run away.

But there is one role that Jessica Simpson was born to play, and it looks like she’ll be getting the chance to do just that very soon. You guessed it - it’s been reported that Jessica Simpson is going to be starring in a new Baywatch movie.

Let’s face it, when the best thing your own father can say about you is that you have quite nice tits,
you know that a Baywatch call-up isn’t far away. And that’s exactly
what’s apparently happened to Jessica Simpson. Jessica might not have
the mixture of danger and allure to be a Bond Girl, but a Baywatch Girl is much more up Jessica Simpson’s alley.

The Sun has reported that casting directors for a new Baywatch film
have plumped for Jessica Simpson to squeeze into the famous red
swimsuit, run up and down a beach in slow motion and endlessly pout
while some poor child drowns in the background. An insider told the
newspaper:

"Jessica really caught the eye in The
Dukes Of Hazzard film last summer. She was the unanimous choice for the
Baywatch role. Jessica has all the assets to make Pammy’s part her own."

And
by ‘assets’, they of course mean ‘lady-bazzers’. Jessica Simpson’s Dad
isn’t the only person fond of Jessica’s breasts - the popularity of These
Boots Were Made For Walking was pretty much solely down to the fact
that the video featured Jessica Simpson rubbing soapy water on her
bikini for three minutes. At least, we hope so. It’s certainly more
logical than suggesting that people enjoyed listening to her awful
sub-Lisa Scott-Lee singing.

It’s unclear yet whether or not alleged wife-beater David Hasselhoff will reprise his Baywatch role as Mitch, or if the role will go to someone that Angelina Jolie-loving Jessica Simpson has known chemistry with. Bam Margera,
for instance. Either way, we’d expect that the Baywatch movie will be
the start of a burst of working activity for Jessica Simpson. After
all, Nick Lachey will want to get his alimony one way or the other.

Read more:

Who’s The New Pammy? - Sky

[story by Stuart Heritage]