Jennifer Garner Hates Bromances

Jennifer Garner Kevin Smith BEn AffleckI know Ben Affleck is supposedly reaching his “respectable peak” now with his career, doing serious shit like Argo and all, but I kind of miss old Affleck.† The funny guy who had a little booze bloat to his face, had a pretty open love for†dancers in g-strips and pasties,†and wasn’t above a dick joke or making hysterical movies with Kevin Smith.

But that Ben is long gone, and while many thought that was due to just maturity, according to Smith it had more to do with his fun-sucking wife, Jennifer Garner.† Seems Bennifer 2.0 is not a fan of donkey show humor.

Kevin Smith was at Comic Con this past weekend, and somehow the topic of Ben Affleck came up.† Some reporters from Yahoo Movies†wanted to know if Ben would be around to promote his new ButtChinMan, erm, Batman movie, and they figured asking the guy who has probably on more than one occasion shared a blunt and a hooker with Affleck was a reasonable decision.† In true Smith fashion, the guy couldn’t just say, “I have no idea.”† And I thank him for it.

ďGreat question. I donít know, because weíre not fucking tight. I have not been [close with him] in decades. Thatís old Ben. Heís got a wife that donít care for me at all [Laughs]. And plus, honestly, he probably donít care for me at all anymore. Heís a triple-A-list movie star and shit like that. If heís Jimmy Carter, Iím Billy Carter, to put it in í70s terms. And Iím not even related and shit.Ē

Affleck is also the guy still getting kicked out of casinos, so I wouldn’t give him triple-A-list.

Yahoo Movies also remembered that a few weeks ago, Kevin talked shit about Jennifer Garner again.† Are we coming up to a special Gigli anniversary or something, because Smith is seriously acting like Ben just dumped him last week via a passive aggressive Tweet.

Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me ó she did not like my jokes. I was picking on Ben Affleck making fun of him because Iíve known him for a really long time ó I was talking smack ó and Jennifer goes, ĎYou know, if you keep saying stuff about him, Iím going to kick your ass.í And she could ó Iíve seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didnít understand that I was kidding.

I remember talking to Ben and being like, ĎI know your lady is not finding me amusing. Ben, Iíve known you for years, and you are far sicker than I am!í His jokes are way dirtier than mine. Heís made jokes to me, and Iíve been like, ĎBen, you need to go to church.íĒ

It was pretty obvious to the world that Garner put Affleck on a serious tight leash when they got together.† And I guess part of the reeling him strategy was leaving behind the uncouth friends, such as Smith.† And that is just unfortunate for the rest of us who only found Affleck likeable when he was acting in a Smith comedy.† Give me Dogma over Pearl Harbor any day.

And considering Garner starred in Daredevil with Affleck, maybe she should realize her opinion of taste is pretty off anyway.