"It’s the media that won’t move on. You just want to say, ‘Come on,
people! Turn a page!’" said the pathetic victim of infidelity who enjoys ridding herself of pain by screaming at the sea during an interview on Oprah.
As far as Oprah interviews go, it wasn’t quite up to the
fist-pounding, sofa-leaping, car crashery standards we’ve come to
expect, but it was still eventful. It marked the first time that
Jennifer Aniston (DVDs) has spoken about the break-up of her marriage to Brad
Pitt (DVDs) on TV.
According to The Mirror, the interview started in typically
cringeworthy style. Aniston brought on a pair of champagne glasses and
toasted Oprah with the words "to you and everything that you do" –
which is mainly, as far as we can tell, shouting empty platitudes at famous
people and getting shitty in French boutiques. But after that splatter
of insincerity, the interview got down to business – talking about how
sad she was and stuff.
But Jennifer wasn’t playing ball. She’s very happy, apparently. "I’m
doing so well," she told Oprah. "I’m not sitting, dwelling on the past."
Other things we were told during the interview included the following…
wants to date men again, because she loves "the unknown. I love the
discovery of what will be happening."
Jennifer is a bit of a batshit hippy
and calls her friends "sisters and mothers and gurus and…
And best of all – she’s awake all the time: "I don’t sleep. I think
I’m planning a lot," Aniston told Oprah. Reports that she’s planning a
number of outlandish Roadrunner-style deaths for Brad Pitt are
[story by Stuart Heritage]