John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity.
It’s not that we didn’t expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into obscurity had he kept his mouth shut about the relationship and consequent split.
So obviously he’s gone for the old ‘talk about her to the press in an annoying fashion, just so people don’t forget who I am for at least two extra weeks, and places like that amazing hecklerspray.com will write about me again’ route that so many ineffectual Z-listers opt for.
Well we won’t, John Mayer. We wo… oh. We have. Bugger.
See, after the breakup – no, not the movie with Jennifer and another of her exes Vince Vaughn – Mayer decided to talk to anyone who would listen, spunking his intimate knowledge around as many media outlets as he knew would report it. And some that wouldn’t.
Speaking to reporters in the street, apparently, Mayer said:
“There’s no lying, there’s no cheating, there’s no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.”
Well isn’t that just sweet, eh? It’s obviously as dull and middle of the road as we expected from the king of mediocrity, but at least there’s no real venom in it. We can sleep soundly at night. Though it is still the rampant fame-hungry behaviour of a man desperate to cling on to some of the limelight that fleetingly glanced across his brow for such a short amount of time.
And it did clearly irritate Jennifer Aniston, if those magical sources we love so much are to be believed. Speaking to the press, one ‘source’ said these words, and by the looks of things they were frothing at the mouth when they did so:
“Jennifer will never kiss and tell, but it’s she who ended the relationship. John’s childish behaviour only confirms she was right to dump him. Now he’s acting like a spoiled child. Expect Jennifer to behave like a lady.”
The righteous fury didn’t end there though, and the source (of rage) went on:
“Jennifer was tired of paying for everything. Cobwebs come flying out of John’s wallet when he opens it. John liked living like a movie star when he was with her. Jennifer would never say anything, but you could tell it irritated her.”
Which probably means Jennifer had to pay for this meal that we reported on in such world-changing fashion oh so long ago. We do remember seeing Mayer pat his pockets and shrug his shoulders when the bill arrived, showing the international sign language for ‘whoopsie – me gone dun and forgot mah wallet!’.
Well John – you’re going to have to pay for your own meals now. Take that!