This Jay Leno/ Conan O’Brien thing is still rumbling on, even though it’s been going for three weeks.

Or five years. Or 17 years. Or wherever you want to draw the starting line. Anyway, it’s been going on for so long that a pattern has developed – Conan O’Brien uses his show to bash NBC, Jay Leno uses his show to sort of bash NBC but not enough for anyone to be convinced and the whole world remains fixated on the saga of two middle-aged millionaires who read Tiger Woods jokes from pieces of cardboard for a living.

But last night the formula changed. Jay Leno used his show to put his side of the story across. And there wasn’t a single joke in the entire segment. Which, come to think of it, isn’t that unusual for Jay Leno.

It looks like, by the end of the day, a settlement will be reached regarding this brouhaha about Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno. And, if our predictions are correct, then this is what will happen…

* Jay Leno will return to 11:35 to become the host of The Tonight Show again.

* Conan O’Brien will walk away from NBC with a $30 million severance package, a stipulation that he can’t start another show until September and a temporary gagging order.

* Although momentarily confused that a white-haired chinny midget is telling the exact same jokes that the lanky ginger lady would have otherwise told on The Tonight Show, somehow viewers will manage to get over it and the world will somehow keep turning.

But that’s all to come later today. And because of this, Jay Leno used his show last night to set the record straight. For some reason, just because he’s starting to look like the sort of person who’d compulsively stamp on the throat of anyone who so much as thought about taking his job, Jay Leno has emerged from this affair as the bad guy. But in actual fact, as he spent five minutes explaining to his audience, Jay Leno is actually a really great guy – and, for the record, he really loves that red-headed chap who he keeps screwing over. People reports:

“Through all of this, Conan O’Brien has been a gentleman,” Leno said during the taping. “He’s a good guy. I have no animosity towards him.” For now, Leno said, it appeared that he would be returning as host of The Tonight Show after O’Brien apparently rejected moving to midnight. “So that’s pretty much where we are. It looks like we might be back at 11:30,” he said. “I’m not sure. I don’t know.”

But anyway, as nasty and bitter as this has all got, at least we can be sure that it won’t be long before we can all put an end to this, and everyone involved can move on with their heads held high.

That is, you know, until Jay Leno sees someone eating a sandwich that he likes the look of, at which point he’ll go out of his way to make their life a misery until he can have the sandwich for himself. But we’ll deal with that when we have to.

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Tagged as: Conan O'Brien, jay leno, Tonight Show