Well right off, let us just tell you that the title up there has probably misled you a little.
Sure, Jamie Foxx did recently fend off an intruder in his own hotel room recently, but sources have since indicated it was his Nanna.
And now just let us tell you that the above paragraph may have misled you as well. Although Foxx did have to push an intruder out of his hotel door, we’re told it was more of a stalker-type relationship than an actual blood relative.
Also nobody died, and nobody was foxy.
When you’re living the Jamie Foxx lifestyle you have to be ready for absolutely anything. You’ve gotta be ready to be the invisible one on In Living Color. Also, you’ve gotta be ready to always sign your name with two Xs just because you decided it looked cool in eighth grade, you’ve gotta be ready to apparently remake August Rush in 2009 but with a grown black man instead of a little white orphan, and perhaps most importantly you have to be ready to physically push stalkers posing as Beyonce‘s music producer out of your hotel room before they stab you like they may well have been planning.
That actually happened recently. No really – TMZ will tell you:
“…sources say Jamie had to physically struggle to shove a 49-year-old perp out of his room, after the guy tricked Foxx into thinking he was Beyonce’s producer. We’re told Jamie realized something was wrong as soon as he opened the door, but the suspect quickly tried to push his way inside. Fortunately, Jamie overpowered him and slammed the door in his face. Law enforcement sources say the man, later identified as Willie Brown, then fled from the scene.”
In his defence, the stalker thought he was sneaking past Ray Charles. He was probably shocked when Foxx’s line of sight seemed to follow him almost perfectly.
What a dumb stalker. Doesn’t he know you’ve gotta train for stuff like that? If you are gonna successfully push past Jamie Foxx to successfully be in his room at least long enough to successfully convince him that although you’re both men, these feelings can’t be wrong – you’ve gotta train first. You’ve gotta hit the treadmill, you’ve gotta hit the free weights, and lastly, you should really practice sneaking through holes made out of door frames and mock-ups of Jamie’s legs and chest.
Only then will love find you. Only then will lifelong gay love with Jamie Foxx possibly find you.
Nothing worth it comes easy, stalker.
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