Iron Man 2, along with Toy Story 3 and Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, will be one of 2010’s biggest movies.
It’s going to have everything! Explosions! Robots! Robert Downey Jr! Sexy ladies! So many peripheral baddies that you can’t help but think that it’s going to be as bloated and stupid as Spider-Man 3! A man! Made out of iron! But what’s Iron Man 2 actually going to be like? Luckily an Iron Man 2 trailer has just been leaked to the internet, and you can watch it below.
What’s more, we’ve taken the liberty of decoding the Iron Man 2 trailer in its entirety, so you can make sense of all the flashing images and whizz-bang noises. This is because we love you.
This Iron Man 2 trailer isn’t much of a surprise. After all, for weeks we’ve been teased with posters and on-set pictures and international teasers and God knows what else, so it was only a matter of time before we were given actual moving evidence that the film existed.
However, Iron Man 2 has a hell of a lot riding on it. If it wants to repeat the success of the original movie and become the most entertaining movie of the summer until Christopher Nolan releases his film, then it’s going to need to dazzle and amaze and – most importantly – stop Robert Downey Jr’s slow transformation into Gene Simmons from KISS. Can it achieve all of this? Here’s the Iron Man 2 trailer – see for yourself…
We don’t know about you, but that all shot by so quickly that we barely know what even happened. Something about a robot, maybe? Let’s go through the Iron Man 2 trailer scene by scene to try and make sense of what we just saw.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE ONE
Oh look, Tony Stark is answering to the government. It’s just like the first episode of the last season of 24! Maybe this means that Tony Stark will save the world by trying to stab half a biro into Mickey Rourke‘s eyeball. Yes, that’s almost definitely what will happen. Iron Man 2‘s gonna be AWESOME!
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE TWO
Here, for reasons probably too pointless to get into, Gwyneth Paltrow kisses a cold, soulless robot head. Word has it that she trained extensively for this scene by being married to Chris Martin out of Coldplay for six years.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE THREE
Wait a minute. Gratuitous use of the American flag? Dancing girls? A Russian baddie with an unconvincing accent? A talking robot? This means that Iron Man 2‘s going to be identical to Rocky IV! AWESOME!
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE FOUR
Oh go on then, teenage boys. But hurry up. And wipe up after yourselves, would you? Jeez.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE FIVE
Blimey, Jodie Marsh has let herself go, hasn’t she?
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SCENE SIX
Robert Downey Jr and Don Cheadle dress up as robots and break things together. If you listen very carefully during this scene, you might just be able to hear the distinctive sound of Terrence Howard gently weeping to himself.
There. we think that just about covers everything. You’re welcome.
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