After rumours floated around the slebphere that Hugh Grant was to take over Charlie Sheen’s role on Two And A Half Men (ostensibly, The Famous One On The Show), everyone scratched their heads and muttered about how little sense it made. Surely a programme like that needs someone more irritating than Hugh Grant?
Well, it seemed impossible, but CBS are weighing up an actor who is roughly a million times more grating than Charlie Sheen… and this actor can grind your gears without being a dead-eyed junky!
That’s right folks, the only man on Earth more irritating than Charlie Sheen is Ashton Kutcher (the stepson of 83 year old Demi Moore) has reportedly signed a deal to join the cast of the woeful sitcom when it returns for a ninth season.
Hugh Grant apparently pulled out of negotiations after citing the old chestnut of “creative differences”, paving the way for the oddly hairlined Kutcher to wobbly into view, gurning at everyone and tittering like an old dog with a brain tumour.
In typically desperately wacky style, Kutcher hinted on Twitter about the gig, saying:
“What’s the square root of 6.25?”. The answer is two and a half.”
Of course, you’ll remember Kutcher from his American version of Beadle’s About, Punk’d, as well as his excruciating to the point of getting clubfoot role as a dunderhead stoner in the miserable That ’70s Show. Mercifully, his movie career has been less successful.
Yet, the oddest thing is this whole sorry tale is that Two And A Half Men is the most watched show on American television which should fill everyone with blood-freezing dread.
These Americans are the leaders of the free-world… and they’re producing and watching this catpiss?
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