CONGRATULATIONS HUGH GRANT. You have had a baby. Is it with a prostitute? We don't know! But the answer is definitely, irrefutably, unequivocally, probably.
?Hugh Grant?s publicist? (HAHAHA) revealed the news, yesterday insisting that honestly:
“He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not? be happier or more supportive.?He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms.”
Because honesty really, really is by some considered to be something of a policy.
Oh, and for those who prefer their Hugh Grant news in a safer sounding, slightly witty, and altogether more endearing way, as always, here’s the Richard Curtis version of the same official statement.
“Blimey!”
That’s right. Hugh, who is 280 years old, has done a ‘Hugh Grant’ (that’s a bit of a Hugh Grant humour for you there) and become a father for the very first time to an accidental infant girl. Christ, some people have all the 1999 Kids Choice Favourite Movie Couple Blimp Awards luck, don’t they?
No word yet from Hugh on whether or not he gives a toss about this yet. Does he even know? Does Hugh Grant look like the kind of gent who reads the ‘PS’ section of emails? Not with haphazard, free-falling locks like those, that’s for sure.
As you may imagine, we’re head over heels for Hugh, and of course the glowing, irrelevant, and forever anonymous mother, and wish to send a special hecklerspray congratulations to the happy couple.
But wait! What will this little bundle of joy (but more importantly: RESPONSIBILITY) do to Hugh’s saucy, libidinous, constantly-happening-all-the-time sex life, we hear you cry?
What’s that, you say?
Go on. Don’t be shy.
‘Hugh Grant never met a vagina he didn’t like?‘
Guys. That is sick.
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