Two of the hottest men in Hollywood for the past decade have been a couple of Canadian dudes named Ryan (Gosling and Reynolds, respectively). I mean they’re both mega hot, ripped, funny, and extremely talented. They also dress well. They’re the type of guys you’d want to punch in the face for being so fucking perfect if it weren’t for the fact that they also seem pretty likable, as well.
Anyway, Hot Ryan #1 (Gosling) and Hot Ryan #2 (Sorry Ryan Reynolds, Gosling has been my #1 since his days on “Breaker High), both shacked up with Hollywood mega babes (Gosling with the exotic Eva Mendes and Reynolds with the basic-but-beautiful Blake Lively) and produced what are sure to be two of the most beautiful girls on the face of the planet, and, apparently, they’ve done it again!
Gosling and Mendes had their daughter, Esmerelda, just three months before Reynolds and Lively had their daughter, James (sidenote: aren’t Esmerelda and James the name of the main characters—aside from Quasimodo—in the Disney version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”?) which makes me think Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling might have some weird cosmic connection. They’re both babes, they’re both Canadian, they’re both named Ryan, they both got their start as the comic reliefs on shows in the 90’s that I absolutely loved (2 Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place 4 life!), then they came to Hollywood, got jacked, became mega hunks, got with hot babes, and had daughters a few months apart. And NOW they’re apparently going to have their second children in close proximity of each other. Coincidence? Yes. Absolutely. To think otherwise is absolutely ridiculous.
Anyway, neither couple has announced or confirmed their pregnancies, but both Blake and Eva have been caught sporting baby bumps as of late. Here is Blake’s obvious bump, and Eva blatantly trying to hide hers:
So, as far as I can tell, almost every hot babe in Hollywood is getting knocked up this year. Megan Fox is officially knocked up with her third (I can say knocked up, because when you get pregnant by the guy you’re divorcing, it seems pretty likely that shit wasn’t planned), Emily Blunt is pregnant with her second, Behati Prinsloo has tragically allowed Adam Levine to spawn his first child, and now Eva Mendes and Blake Lively are bringing more stunning babies into the world.
Of course, all of these children will be 100% overshadowed if the most elegant queen of entertainment blesses the world with a sweet angel rose grown from her pristine, diamond encrusted womb. No, I’m not referring to Britney Spears; I’m talking about none other than pop superstar/America’s REAL top model/reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe: Courtney Stodden.
I mean, sure Eva and Blake are pretty, but their kids will look like actual GARBAGE TROLLS compared to whatever Swaroski cherub that is birthed from the immaculate diamond cave that is Courtney Stodden’s vagina.
Courtney hasn’t announced a pregnancy or anything, but if this is the year of the hottest bitches in Hollywood having babies, then it’s only a matter of time.