If you've ever been told to stop making a boob of yourself, then usually you're doing something stupid like stirring a cup of coffee with your wang. Just us? Anyway, in the case of Holly Madison, if she didn't have her busters, her income would dry up faster than a cream-cracker in the Mojave Desert.
When Holly was growing up, she didn't want to be a doctor. Instead, her dream was to walk around in hardly any clothing whilst her employee Hugh Hefner furiously rubbed his thighs so much that his shrivelled love stick would get a friction burn.
Unless she has a fetish for pensioners, Holly Madison was one of Hefner?s many paid girlfriends, but now she’s free from wrinkled clutches, she’s being her own woman! Sadly, feminists will be dismayed to hear that she still requires her chest to get through life and has just taken out an insurance plan on her knockers.
Not many people will have had the opportunity to feel a Playboy playmates bosom, but because we vaguely care about our readers, we know how to create an almost identical experience that?ll make you think you're groping Holly Madison.
Just like most of the hecklerspray writers, we assume that you're a pathetic and lonely individual who doesn't have a willing girlfriend who's prepared to help you out.
To recreate the strange situation of touching Madison’s bazangers, simply go to the kitchen and get two rubber plunger heads filled with p?t?, shove them down your t-shirt and let the fondling commence.
You see, Holly Madison isn't naturally gifted when it comes to the boob department. Overnight, a magic nork fairy didn't magically enhance her. Instead, she plumped up to a D-cup from an A-cup all thanks to the wonders of silicon. Effectively, all those provocative pictures she's the star of are making her look like a walking portfolio for the surgeons who sliced her upon and injected her with goo.
Knowing she's made of plastic that could start to degrade, she said the following about her insurance:
“If anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars. I thought I’d cover my assets.”
Cover her assets indeed!
Let's face it, due to the nature of the business she's in, covering her assets is the last thing she should do.
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