One of the most mong-brained ideas for a TV show ever must be Stars In Their Eyes. Whoever thought of dressing up poor people like famous people and making them sing deserves a bloody medal.
Although it’s still being made, the show cannot possibly top the moment when the fake Chris DeBurgh and the real Chris de Burgh sang a duet version of Lady In Red that even Radio 4 listeners found unbearably smug.
So a new show was needed for crosseyed gypsies to clap their hands to on Saturday teatimes. And lo, Hit Me Baby One More Time was created. And, oddly, it’s great.
This time, though, it isn’t the general public who have to sing –
the stars of the new show are washed up has-been celebrities desperate
for a second chance.
Presented by gurning freak Vernon Kaye – who’s clearly only read the part of the ‘TV Presenter Manual’ about screaming the word "WOW!!!" at the top of your lungs every six milliseconds – HMBOMT (as we’ll call it) features five stars singing their most famous songs.
Watching people sleepwalk through songs they’ve sung a zillion times
isn’t much fun, though. Even if there is something perversely fantastic
about seeing Shakin Stevens forget the words to This Old House. And that’s where HMBOMT plays it’s ace card – the cover version round.
The sight of people who were famous twenty years ago being forcing
into singing songs that today’s kids know is a rare treat. These people
want the fame, but at the cost of singing some Liberty X rubbish. But they struggle on through gritted teeth.
Of course, a lot depends on what song they choose. Last week, Belinda Carlisle shot herself in the foot by picking The Scientist by Coldplay. The studio audience of HMBOMT
are mainly half-witted lowest common denominator idiots. They want
shiny and loud! They are, in short, the people that laugh at the crazy
frog ringtone.
Last week’s winner was Shakin’ Stevens. Even though he also forgot the words to Trouble by Pink . God bless him.
This week, you can watch the unbeatable line up of The Pasadenas, Mica Paris, Baccara, Nick Heyward and Carol Decker from T’Pau grimace through renditions of Who Let The Dogs Out. Probably.
hecklerspray‘s going to lay a
few quid down on Decker. She doesn’t have a chance, obviously, but
she’s vaguely pretty and we’re very shallow.
If you agree, or you somehow have your own opinion, you can check the odds and have a flutter at the Willam Hill website and then watch the show on Saturday – ITV1 at 17.45. Good luck chaps.
[story by Stuart Heritage]