Daniel Edwards is a weird art-perv. In fairness, most art is based on someone being a perv.
The Venus de Milo is the voyeuristic peerings by a man staring at a woman coming out of the shower and Tracey Emin‘s tent was a list of all the men foolish enough to bear down on her knuckle shaped skull. So yeah, it’s no surprise that Daniel Edwards likes making art that makes his trousers plump.
Previously, he’s made sculptures of Suri Cruise‘s first turds and a baby crowning out of Britney Spears‘ twat. Now, he’s gazing at Hollywood’s first couple – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Naturally, a realistic representation that features Brangelina should feature them doing something they do all the time… a timeless pose… something that has already lived in our memories, borne out and tangible. That of course, means an arresting image of Brad bumming Angelina, who just so happens to have a puke-inducing toast rack rib cage and a bird on her shoulder, looking at her featureless, alien waps.
Of course, we can’t chastise a piece of art for not being realistic – Pablo Picasso didn’t exactly make facsimile images of the world. However, as this is hardly surreal, you could easily argue that the artists may as well have got a couple of vagrants off the street, shaved their bodies, got them drunk to the point of listlessness and suspended them in frozen, cartoon-esque quick-drying cement and made them stick their genitals in each other whilst nailing a thrust to one of their shoulders.
It goes without saying that the artists themselves have been flowery about the whole thing and in a statement, boked:
“The ‘Brangelina’ sculpture is destined to exist forever, the way Brad and Angie’s relationship will persist in peoples’ memories. Theirs is the Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton romance of our time. I believe every home in America should become an ‘honorary home’ to our Superstars, in order to connect celebrities and regular people in spirit.”
Spirit in this case, presumably being a case-load of No Frills vodka from Kwik Save.
So there we have it folks. Art and pop-culture colliding head-on to recreate the furious wank-dreams of psychopath, starring a cadaver tomb-raiding the colon of Skeletor’s sister and her massive, formless jugs. Brian Sewell is currently inventing a new emotion to deal with this pus-inducing monstrosity.
This was a guest blog by the mighty Mof Gimmers from Electricroulette. Fact.
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