Heidi Montag got a number of cosmetic procedures, for the purpose of selling magazine covers and also for ratings on her (recently cancelled) TV show.
To be honest, it was a big waste of time. The reality star got most of the procedures just for the sake of keeping herself amused. You know, like when you’re at the shops and you can’t remember what you wanted so you fill your basket with jelly babies and nothing else just so that you don’t go home empty-handed.
During a radio interview with Ryan Seacrest on Monday, Heidi revealed more details about those ten surgeries in one day. You remember, it was the day the sky became black and the ground rumbled as Heidi made that particular deal with the devil. Well, that was also the day Heidi got assorted pointless procedures including nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, an eyebrow lift, a breast enlargement, and fat injections. None of which made her look that much better. It has been about five months since the surgeries and her face still looks puffy. The only striking differences are her chin, which she had filed down, and her ridiculous boobs.
One little-mentioned procedure she endured was a ‘back scooping’, which sounds terrifying. Seriously, we mean that. Why on earth would one wish to have any part of one’s body ‘scooped’. They may as well just use the word eviscerated, and make sure they really do scare off all the pansies. Yeah, we’re pretty sure doctors are calling you a bunch of pansies if you don’t arbitrarily sign up to the most dangerous-sounding procedures they offer.
From Us Weekly:
In addition to familiar-sounding enhancements — nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, eyebrow lift, breast enlargement, fat injections — Montag said that she also “had my back scooped.”? When Ryan Seacrest asked her to clarify what a “back scoop” is, Montag replied, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”
Heidi also shares some wonderful news; she’ll no longer be able to spread the plague via hugs. Apparently her new body is so fragile that it could snap in two under the pressure. That being said, you may want to go and buy some of those surgical masks, as we’re now convinced that her lurgy-spreading has become airborne.
The star said she also “had my waist cinched in on both sides.”? And the reality star has all the gory details on tape. “I have the footage of my ten procedures,” Montag warned. “Going into it, getting it done…I’ve watched a little bit.” The bloody footage might see the light of day in a future reality show, Montag hinted.? Post-surgery, Montag says she “has a great body now,” but there are drawbacks. “I’m very weird about hugging people now — [my body] is very fragile.”
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse. She’s wonderful.
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