Hecklerspray once tried faking a heart attack.

We weren’t very good at it – all that foaming at the mouth, flailing our arms around and screeching out incomprehensible wails and grunts simply made people think that we were some sort of Pete Doherty tribute act, whereupon they either gave us a tenner to scurry off and buy a bag of heroin or just slapped us in the face repeatedly. Mainly the latter.

Still. Our attempt was, like, six million billion times better than that of Keison Wilkins. Who he? He’s the chap who, after deciding to defend himself in court, thought that the best course of action was to fake a heart attack and hope for a mistrial.

He failed.

And was sentenced to 42 years.