America has a huge variety of accents, from the baffling Boston garble, to the irritating Valley speak, not to mention the bizarre voices you hear in the Deep South. Sadly, America also has lazy earholes and can’t be bothered learning how to adapt to any European accents.
And this could well be the reason that Cheryl Cole has been replaced by Pussycat Doll Nicole Sherzinge weeks before the show airs.
Of course, Cole has been a vaguely controversial choice for a judges chair on the show, basically because she’s a relative unknown Stateside, and there have been concerns over the fact that Cheryl has a Geordie accent. However, it would appear the lack of chemistry with Paula Adbul could be the reason, despite the fact it is nigh on impossible to get a rapport going with someone who has all the vitality of a euthanised Basset Hound.
Cole was supposed to star alongside Simon Cowell and LA Reid, despite her regional accent. She, however, insists that it hasn’t ever really been a problem over there.
?Americans can always understand me. I’ve been here a lot, I’ve got a lot of American friends and we have the odd moments where they’re like ‘What? What did that mean?’ – you know, a phrase.”
?But I think that it’s going to be something that people get used to. And I’m proud of my accent.?
You have to remember, one of the thickest popstars in history, will.i.am of The Black Eyed Peas, can understand Cheryl Cole perfectly well, unless he’s simply been nodding politely for the past coupla years he’s known her (not impossible, granted).
But whatever. Fox and Cowells representatives don’t want to talk about the rumour that Cheryl’s been fired from the show, which probably means she hasn’t been handed her P45 at all and this is all excellent hype building for a show that could well take over America completely.
$5million to the winner too.
Oh, and if you’re wondering where all the jokes got to, you have to remember that we wrote all this while doing a poor impression of a Geordie accent. Idiots. Do we have to wipe your asses too?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
Sophie says
Disappointing.. why are we going soft on Cheryl? She’s a chav who got lucky, it’s quite embarrassing really.
Bobby says
Big mistake. I think her accent is sexy and so would a lot of American men.
Pop fan says
I think we’re all forgetting two things here:
1) X Factor USA has about as much in common with the UK version as it does with an old B&W episode of Steptoe & Son. Cole hasn’t adjusted, she’s still sat in a manky bath tin screaming ”arold’. Metaphorically speaking. COLE FAIL #1
2) In USA record shops Girls Aloud are filed under MUSIC FOR FAGGOTS. This alone is enough to make the vast majority of Americans hate her. COLE FAIL #2
Agreed?
Sophie says
So agreed. And probably worth mentioning that criminal record ;)