Science has proved that if you ask 100 people want they want to see in a film, around 87 of them will answer "tap-dancing penguins, the voice of Frodo out of Lord Of The Rings and a subtle moral about over-fishing the world's oceans."
And, what do you know, that's exactly what Happy Feet offers. Happy Feet is enjoying its second week at the top of the US weekend box office, beating all before it, whether it's Casino Royale, a lot of ridiculous crap about a time-travelling policeman or a Darren Aronofsky meditation on the compulsive pan-generational human quest for eternal life. Silly old Aronofsky – what he should have done was filled The Fountain with all sorts of animated penguins performing vigorous dance routines to disco hits sung by the girl from Little Black Book, and then maybe more than six people would have gone to see it.
Happy Feet is the number one movie at the US weekend box office this week, something we're putting solely down to those really annoying Persil adverts where a girl dances with a cartoon penguin for ten seconds and then falls down, even though the advert probably wasn't even shown in America and we're looking at the US weekend box office. But shut up. Here's the US weekend box office top five…
1 – Happy Feet (Now that Happy Feet has established that a family cartoon can also provide sly environmental warnings, we're very excited to see 2008's Barnyard 2, where Otis The Cow learns about the use of transgenic crops by developing countries while doing a lovely little jig) $37,945,000
2 – Casino Royale (After seeing Casino Royale, the question the world is asking is no longer "Will Daniel Craig be a worthy James Bond?" but "Why the hell isn't that free-runner bloke who did all that freaky jumping and shit at the start of Casino Royale James Bond?") $31,000,000
3 – Deja Vu (You know that sneaky reference we made earlier to a lot of ridiculous crap about a time-travelling policeman? Yeah, we meant Deja Vu) $20,836,000
4 – Deck The Halls (A film where one man tries to put so many Christmas lights on his house that it can be seen from space and another man accidentally has a sexual fantasy about his young daughter. Ahhh, Christmas) $20,836,000
5 – Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (People, you've been fooled. Sacha Baron Cohen says that Borat isn't a funny film about a fat man rubbing his crack in another man's face, but a rumination that "shows the absurdity of holding any form of racial prejudice." Boo! We want our money back!) $10,400,000
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