Yesterday, we talked about what a gigantic spoilsport Halle Berry is. She selfishly decided to act like an adult and not air her filthy linen in public, leaving us to guess why she was worried about the safety of her daughter when with her ex-bloke, Gabriel Aubry.
Well, no thanks to Halle, but rather, a load of scurrilous rumours and hearsay, it seems we have an answer!
Yessireebob, people are pointing at Gabriel Aubrey and muttering “great big dirty racist git” under their breath.
Allegedly, Aubrey dropped the N-Bomb on Halle (a claim we expect Aubrey will eventually deny in public) and repeatedly demeaned her with other vulgarities. As an aside, ‘vulgarity’ is a great word isn’t it?
Basically, it seems that Gabe went a bit ‘Mel Gibson’ and like throwing around racist words as well as niceties like “fucking bitch” and “you’re films are consistently not very good and in fact, I find them rather derivative.” See if you can spot which one we made up.
Sadly, it is very difficult to prove that someone said something horrible to someone, but luckily for Gabriel, he did it by text message as well. So damning evidence may well be sat on Berry’s phone, gleefully waiting for some judge to have a look at it.
She’ll have to delete any saucy pictures she may have taken of herself though (anyone with a mobile phone does that, right?)
Worse still for Aubrey is that an ex-girlfriend of his has waddled out into the open, spouting off about what a nasty shit he is. The woman in question dated him for a couple of years and noted that he was…
“very disrespectful to women”
Quite how he pulled one of the most lusted-after women in Hollywood is beyond us. He must have a very, very impressive penis or something. The lady also backed-up this racist thing, saying:
“Gabriel has always been a borderline racist.”
However, he isn’t a complete monster. This ex of his would like to point out that, while she considers him to be a potty-mouthed bigot, he wasn’t one for throwing a slap across a room. Basically, she’s saying that Gabriel never once laid a hand on her during their relationship.
If this turns out to be true, we can only thank Hollywood for breeding these racist sorts, just so we can write about them constantly and sneer at any misfortune that comes their way.
No. Don’t tell us about the eventuality that he might be completely innocent and shit like this might actually stick and tarnish a nice man’s reputation.
No. Not listening.
*sticks fingers in ears*
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner lalalalalalalala ner dum dum dum LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING…
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!