It's getting to summertime now, so there really isn't much going on in the world of gaming ? some previews here, some other things there and a lot of press gumph everywhere else.
That won't stop us from finding fault in the few news nuggets that are plopped out, though.
The Wii is now one of the most sought-after wedding presents, according to department store John Lewis.
Why is this bad? Because it will perpetuate the notion that people want tons of dirge shovelled their way in the form of ?hilarious? party and sports games for Nintendo?s obscenely popular wagglebox.
The Cooking Mama series has sold over 4 million.
Why is this bad? Because Gardening Mama is an atrocity, on a par with the worst war crimes committed between 1939 and 1945 and is exactly the same as that bit on The Simpsons where they parody the kind of video games kids will play.
But hey, it can't all be bad can it?
Probably not. Thief 4 has been announced, but then they've gone and put a number in its name ? Thi4f ? meaning it's suddenly lost all appeal it ever pretended to have.
So where is the good news? Hmm. Well, 3D Realms died a death, taking with them Duke Nukem Forever.
When a game is so long in the making it becomes a very well-known joke amongst gaming types, you know it's been a long time coming. When it's Duke Nukem Forever it's a different story altogether.
Originally announced in 1997, DNF was set to revolutionise the way we played first-person shooters, following hot on the heels of the successful ? and excellent ? Duke Nukem 3D.
Then it was delayed. Then it was delayed a smidge more. Then it was delayed a little bit more.
Then they delayed it a lot more.
And a bit more.
12 years later, the game wasn?t cancelled, but 3D Realms, the company making it, was.
Yes, rather than the end to the saga that everyone expected whereby the game was pulled from release schedules, dropped from development and cancelled, we instead get this.
Rather than the acrimonious reaction we all expected from those eagerly awaiting the game, we get an eerie sadness taking over.
What was once a joke laughed off as vapourware has now died, and not through any fault of its own. This unfortunately removes all of the inevitability and comedy from the death we all expected, meaning it's harder to take the piss.
We shed a tear for you, Duke Nukem Forever, and all your newly-unemployed strippers who no longer have anywhere to shake it, baby.
Whatever ?it? may be.
Good lord news is depressing.
THIS WEEK: After wiping away the last tear for DNF, we realised it would probably have been rubbish anyway and went straight back to Fallout 3. Again. We also waited by the door like a dog who has a special relationship with the postman for our copy of Demon?s Souls. Come on Hong Kong, what's the hold-up?
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